What Stops Us From Progressing?

Hello everyone!
As for what I've been up to, I've mainly been attending my brother's various concerts and performances that he's been doing for the Christmas season. I was lucky enough to have my sister and niece with me for a few days, and I've finally started really going out to view the films I want to see before I serve a mission. (Bohemian Rhapsody and Mary Poppins Returns were great, by the way.) I'm doing well and I hope you all are too.
Today I'm writing about something I have given a lotttttt of thought. I think we would all be agreed that a major purpose in life is to progress, to get better every day and learn. The reason this has been on my mind for the past year or two or three is because it's something I've had to realize so that I would be able to get better. There is something that paralyzes many of us and stops us from progressing entirely. I know it's been a roadblock for me during many times of my life and on occasion still can be. There are surely multiple answers to this question, but I honestly notice this frequently among a lot of people. What stops us from progressing?
A lot of the time, the answer is perfectionism.
Which to get more specific also means immediate perfection. We have an expectation in our minds of how we're supposed to do something, something that we are undoubtedly falling short at. So we say, "Okay, I'm going to do this. This is exactly what I'm going to do." And that's a great thing! It's good to have an end goal. The problem is, I so often see people expect immediate results. They get up the next day, try to accomplish this goal immediately, and when they aren't perfect at something that they haven't been doing for quite awhile, when they can't be perfect that very second, they hate themselves. They consider themselves a failure. And they give up. They decide there is no longer any hope for them. They're never going to get better.
Guys, it's not going to work that way. That's never going to happen. Being perfect in a day isn't going to happen. Being perfect isn't going to happen. But improvement is going to happen, and getting good and great and wonderful is going to happen. But it's not going to happen in a day, more than likely. It's surely going to take a lot of time. Progression takes time. Days, weeks, months, years. Forever. And that is not a bad thing. Constantly trying to be better gives our lives purpose.
As should be done with just about every big "project" of sorts, outlining the steps is important. I've found when I want to get better at something, I have to think about what I'm going to do every day. And at the end of the day, I evaluate myself. Did I improve from where I was yesterday? Where did I fall short? What can I do tomorrow to make sure I do better at the things I did poorly today? And I do them. And little by little, I start to get better at the things I want to be better at. By not being hard on myself, by showing myself love and kindness and patience, I actually get better. Back when I used to expect perfection right away, my life was at way more of a standstill. I genuinely improve myself this way.
For example, in 2016, as many of the people that know me very well and personally are aware, I had an identity crisis. And I mean a major one. It was pretty messy. It got to the point where within that year I asked myself what I wanted, yes me, a person who's always been wildly ambitious, and I had absolutely no idea. I was surviving day by day and it was the worst year of my life. That's not to say absolutely nothing good happened that year because that's not true, and it's not to say that that year was not at all constructive because that is in no way true as well. But it was a really devastating time of life and a lot of things contributed to that. One of the things was my absolute self-loathing in the beginning of the year. I realized how bad that was, and I knew I should not hate myself, and so I decided not to. I thought about how many times a day I said "I hate myself" every day. It was an overwhelming amount. So one day I was like, "Okay, I'm going to stop."
Breaking bad habits is not easy. That day, I had only been awake for about two hours and I had already said I hated myself around six times. I realized I failed. I didn't do what I wanted to do.
My heart broke. I cried pretty much that entire day.
When my mom got me from school and something was quite obviously wrong, I told her what my goal was and how I hadn't been able to do it. I was so sad. And that's when she told me that yes, I shouldn't be saying that to myself. But it's hard to get to the point where you are able to love and be kind to yourself. So I shouldn't have expected myself to be perfectly kind to myself after just one day. I just needed to keep working on it. Eventually it would get better.
And it was true. Whenever I was unkind to myself, I would just be like, "Hey, stop that." I started writing a list of things I liked about myself, just one thing every day. And over time I got a lot kinder to myself. I started showing myself a lot of love and respect, or at least as much as I was capable of. When I started showing myself patience, I started actually getting better.
As even more of you know, I saw a therapist this summer as a step in submitting my mission papers. That included doing a few tasks that would change and better my way of living, to not go into too many details just yet. A lot of the time it was really hard. And a lot of the time I didn't do as well as I hoped I would. I had progressed to the point in my life where I was no longer paralyzed and devastated by not being perfect, but still a little disappointed, and scared to how my therapist would react when she heard what I hadn't been able to accomplish. But when I went back for another counseling session and reported on what I had done, she was happy with my work. Because I hadn't been perfect, but she also told me that I never would be because being perfect can't happen. But she could tell that I had gotten better at what I was trying to improve on. I had completed the objective without even realizing it. The point wasn't to be perfect, it was to be aware of myself, which I had done.
Accepting that not everything you do is going to be perfect is essential to doing better. Things don't grow without patience and love.
Something else that I've noticed that has to do with perfection and happiness. This will really make you significantly happier, seriously. Not only are you not going to be perfect, but your life isn't going to be perfect. Bad things are going to happen to you, and you're going to feel negative emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear. All of this is fine, and let me tell you why. I'll start with why it's okay to feel negative emotions.
A lot of people think they can control their feelings. And by that I mean that they can control what they feel. They can't. Sometimes you are just going to be sad. (That's okay, but I'll get to that in a bit.) Because of that, they're afraid of feeling, because they think that means the feeling owns them, and that they have to react to a negative feeling in a negative way. That is in no way true! Who is possessing who? You own the feeling, not the other way around. It can't do anything on its own. So if you feel a negative emotion, that's fine! You don't control what you feel, but that doesn't mean you have to let it control you. If you're feeling sad, get some work done and do something special that makes you happy. If you're angry, take a walk and do some journaling exercises. If you're scared, pray and read a book. If you still feel negative, it's okay! It's just a feeling! It doesn't define you! You don't need to be devastated because you're not perfectly happy all the time. When I have a bad day but want to have a positive attitude, I don't pretend everything is fine. I say, "Yeah, I'm having a really bad day, but I'm not dead, so that's a good sign." Because the feeling isn't controlled but the attitude is. Attitude is just how you react to feeling. So you can be sad and still have a positive outlook! They are allowed to coexist! In fact, I've found that in the long run people that never admit they feel sadness or any negativity usually end up sadder in the long run. Tell the truth. Say, "Yes, I do not feel well today, but that is not going to kill me and I'm still going to do my best today."
I was out with my dear friend James last night and we were talking about this concept. I told him that I often use negative emotions to do positive things. How I've been feeling a lot of fear this year. But I'm not going to be able to control the fear. So instead I choose how I react to the fear. I use fear as an opportunity to have faith. I pray. And when I pray to God I say, hey, I'm really freaking out right now, but I know that You are in charge of what's happening to me so I'm going to just let You have control right now, even though I am very scared. I use the negative emotion to do something positive.
Now I'll tell you why it's okay to have negative things happen to you. It's kind of the same thing. Negative things are not going to stop happening to you. We are mortals living in a crazy world. I'm not here to discredit your pain by saying this either. I know a lot of hardships have come to you all. I just have noticed that I have felt a lot happier when facing my problems with this concept.
A lot of the time bad things happen to us that are not in our control. And while that can be devastating, we can't be owned by the bad things that happen to us. Because bad things are never going to stop happening. We deserve happiness in spite of this. I'm not even saying to say that everything's fine. Again, telling the truth is okay! Saying that things are hard is okay! As long as we keep trying. Progression and happiness happen when we are patient and keep trying. When we accept that negative things are going to happen to us. When we say, "Okay, this is not good, but I am still good, and my life is still good and can be good, I just need to keep doing my best."
To better explain, I'll give you an example. This is something I admittedly really hate that a lot of my friends do. Most of my friends don't participate in this in the way that I hate. But this evil thing that I so despise is the concept of Finstas.
For those of you not in the loop, a Finsta is an Instagram account that is typically much more private than your main account. The average Finsta that I've seen has less than fifty followers and posts about every day, while their main account, primarily used for photos of themselves and other aesthetically pleasing things, is open to the general public and posts at the most once a week.
A lot of people I know use their Finstas as a way of documenting their life, and I get that. Not everyone wants to be obnoxious (@ you, Lizzo) and have their life as an open book for the world to see. Some people really like photography so they want to have an account dedicated just to that. I get it. The problem with Finstas, however, is that a lot of the time they are used to separate a person's life into good and bad. Their pretty life from their real life. Their perfect life from their messy life. And these people frequently end up very sad because they are not able to live up to the expectations they made for themselves. Life is very messy, but their Instagram self demands that everything be perfect and beautiful.
If you follow me on the blog's various social media accounts (I'll post references to my social media at the bottom of this post for those of you that want them), you already know that my posts are pretty messy. I do what a lot of people don't do. I talk about the good and the bad. The very beautiful and the very ugly. I don't see why I shouldn't tell the truth. When I say that something bad happened to me, I'm not saying my life is over and that I'll never be happy again. I'm just saying that something bad happened to me. But it's fine, because that's not going to kill me. I'm okay with the fact that good things and bad things are going to happen to me in my life. I know that life is never all good and all bad. The lows and the highs balance each other out. I am always going to have a mix of positive and negative experiences in my life. And that's awesome. I possess the capability of being okay no matter what.
I wasn't always like that. In previous years of my life, when I was like fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, I would worry so much over so many things. And I don't mean so many things at once. I just mean when something would resolve itself it always seemed like something new would come up that had me stressed again. I would so frequently say to myself, "If this one thing would just resolve itself, then everything would be great. My life would be perfect."
I can't believe I ever thought not only that my life would ever be perfect, but also that I could only be entirely happy if my life was perfect.
I thought that way until right before my senior year of high school when I received a priesthood blessing. I was told that just because not everything was right didn't mean that everything was wrong. That phrase has stuck with me ever since, and the past three years of my life have undoubtedly been the happiest because of that. I realized that having problems didn't need to devastate me. I would just continue to work through them when they needed work and ignore them when they could be ignored, and continue to love the good things in my life, and continue to know that I am wonderful and I am okay. I have tried to live my life by that phrase ever since.
I so frequently see people say that whenever something good happens to them they don't let themselves feel happy because they know something bad will happen that will ruin it for them. This thinking assumes that anything will ever be perfect, and it won't. It also assumes that negative occurrences and feelings have to dictate how we live our lives. Bad things happening to you doesn't mean you can never be happy, just like good things happening to you doesn't mean you can never be sad. Negativity isn't going to kill us. We just need to be patient.
To conclude, you're all really loving people. You show a lot of care to others; I know this about you. Start doing the same for yourself. Why should you expect perfection out of yourself and no one else? We are all just trying our best, and if we keep doing that we're going to get better. That's the good news. If we just keep trying things are going to get better.
Perfection isn't a possibility. We see our friends without makeup on and tell them they're beautiful but when it's us we swear we're hideous and no one could ever like us this way. We put a filter over our photos because there's no way we look good enough without one. We all see the fake aesthetic homes on Instagram, we all go to each other's houses, we all apologize for our home being a mess, we all say it's okay but don't believe it's okay when it's us. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of all the wonderful people around me being so mean to themselves because they are not instantly what they think they should be. In the words of Thomas Sanders, "Even a little progress is progress."
Thank you so much for reading. Keep this all in mind. You're doing you're best, you're getting better, and that's awesome.
I love you endlessly.
--Lizzo

Disney Princess Series: Merida

Hello all!

I am an aunt now! My beautiful niece Brook was born about a month ago and she is the love of my life. I was lucky to spend Thanksgiving with her, my parents, and all of my siblings.

I also got to help my high school choir program with this wonderful show they do called Cabaret Night. They have a dinner before the show and then the students put on a beautiful theatre revue show. I got to help with the choreography and blocking, and they all did a fantastic job.

In other news, I got to see Vocal Point live in concert which was super awesome (As well as Basic Academy's Take Note! Great job kids!) and I've even been on a couple dates, which probably wouldn't normally be a super huge deal but I hadn't been on a date in a year and a half HAHAHA so that was pretty exciting.

Today is a big day, being our final post in the Disney Princess Series! I don't have any spicy introductory facts for you this time. I'll just come out and say I'll be featuring Merida today.

Truth be told, it took me a long time to be a fan of Merida. I don't really like Brave. (I also don't really like Disney's gross one-word film titles that have nothing to do with the film--Brave? Tangled? Frozen? I mean, I'll give Frozen some credit because I guess it is about frozen hearts and frozen land and whatnot. But other than that, I'm literally disgusted. The titles are lame and irrelevant. That was a really dumb and borderline random side rant, but I feel pretty strongly about it.) I'm not sure I've seen the whole thing because I think there are a few scenes of the film that I know of but can't quite recall seeing, and have a little bit of a hard time remembering the details and chronology of the story. It does have a fun plot line, I'll give it that. But that's not just because the film is generally unavailable to me, but also because I don't like it enough to want to watch it whenever. The tone of the film just isn't my style. That's kind of the point of Merida, if you read up on the creative process behind her, that she doesn't have the same tone as the other Princesses, but I really enjoy the tone of the other Princess films, so I suppose that was kind of problematic for me. However, I was really determined to find something to like about this lady, not just because I want to have something I like about each of the Princesses, but also because I'm a women support women type of gal, and I think we gotta stick together no matter what, whether we vibe or not. So while I don't really have any super specific plot points that make me admire who Merida is, I do have some things about her character and personal development that I really love.

First of all, seeing people in their element and doing what they love is the most beautiful thing in the world, so when we get to see Merida out and about and climbing mountains and whatnot, and being so joyful, and seeing what a free spirit she is, that's just awesome to me.

Also how Merida takes control of her situation and fights for what she wants. Being the prize in a contest is definitely not ideal. Merida really wasn't really wanting to get married at all, much less like that. I think it's totally cool that she competes for herself, taking control of her situation in the best way she could, winning herself her freedom, which at the end of the day is all she really wants. Kind of similar to my own favorite Princess. Plus, she totally showed off her talents in the process, and that's awesome.

A really bothersome thing about the film for me was how when Merida's mother turned into a bear, because Merida gave her a spell, Merida kept saying over and over that it wasn't her fault. Like, girl! Stop trying to take the blame away from you! You literally did that to your mom! But that was really unfair of me. That's something very unfair that a lot of people do frequently. Expecting a character to have no flaws is pretty much the worst. Like, where's the human quality there? (Although, sometimes as people we don't even allow real humans to have flaws, so that's not good.) But in the reality of the thing, that attitude of Merida's was really good for the beginning of the film because it brought about a favorite plot point of mine. Pretty much all of the problems in the film come from Merida and her mother, Elinor, just not understanding each other. I love how Merida took the time to be with her mom, to let her mom take care of her and to take care of her mom in return, and how it allowed them to see a little more eye-to-eye, to do what's best for them both, to help their relationship grow and help them genuinely show love for each other, and be able to feel love from each other.

And can we talk about this woman going through everything she did to save her clan, and to fight Mor'du, it was so beautiful to me. Such determination. Absolute fearlessness. Wonderfully fierce. So beautifully brave.
I really have developed a love for Merida. She's wildly original, unashamed of who she is, a very bright and beautiful lady, very loving.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and I hope you enjoyed this series as much as I did! I'm a huge Disney fan (even after all this time of writing and posting about it all the time I'm still not sure whether or not that's closeted information), and the Princesses have always been a favorite of mine. The displays of grace, kindness, courage, joy, and fierceness are great examples to me and women everywhere. I simply love them.

And I simply love you.

For your reference, if you're interested in reading the rest of the series again or for the first time if you're new or if you missed it, here are the links to the posts introducing the series and featuring Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana, and Rapunzel.

Thanks and much love!

--Lizzo

Me and Bonnie and Clyde

Hey guys! Let's catch up with each other real fast before we get started.
Lately I've really been enjoying life volunteering at the high school and hanging out with the kids. The youngsters are simply fantastic.
About three weeks ago my mission papers were submitted. Under normal circumstances I would probably have a call by now, but there was a small setback so it took a little longer. However, that was resolved today so the next time I write for you guys, I will likely have a call! When I know more, I'll let you know.
Today's blog post was requested by my cousin Steph. Earlier this year (which I'll talk about more in a bit) I went on a family vacation, the first part of which involved seeing the Bonnie and Clyde death car. Many of you know this has been a dream of mine for about two years, and she requested that I write a piece about my origin story and relationship with Bonnie and Clyde, about how I came to be so obsessed with them.
Because I am in fact obsessed with Bonnie and Clyde.

If I had to note my very first run-in with Bonnie and Clyde, it wouldn't be a significant one. I was at the youngest twelve years old, but no older than fourteen. I was doing some research on my favorite actor, Jeremy Jordan. On occasion I go into these researching sessions, where I just look up information about topics that interest me, sometimes with a purpose in writing and sometimes out of curiosity. I was studying up on Jeremy that day and looking at all of the acting work he's done. It was said that his two most notable roles were as Jack in Newsies and as Clyde in Bonnie & Clyde. I was already very familiar with Newsies. That's how I became familiar with Jeremy, and as you all know it is my favorite musical. I wasn't familiar with the Bonnie & Clyde musical, or with Bonnie and Clyde at all. All I knew about them was that they were an iconic American duo.

Yes. I'm absolutely serious right now. I did not even know who Bonnie and Clyde were.

And I didn't give it a lot of thought for many years.
During the late summer of 2015, my sister moved out of our house. I was sixteen years old and it was really important for me because I felt like I relied on Emily for a lot, and I kind of needed to figure out how to be my own person. So it was a really good time for me, but also pretty sad. Like, I wasn't living with my best friend for the first time. We still messaged each other frequently, though. As you guys know, my sister is a performer; she's a wonderful actress and singer, so she's very interested in the theatre community. One day, I think she was visiting us over winter break or something, she told me about how she's been listening to Bonnie & Clyde and it was actually pretty good, something I think she'd mentioned before as well over text. I was familiar with this musical by name, but had never heard any of it. She played a song for me, "This World Will Remember Us". I already knew that Jeremy Jordan was leading in the Broadway production, but starring opposite Jeremy was Laura Osnes, another incredibly talented singer and actress. The music was indeed phenomenal. But I still didn't actually know the story of Bonnie and Clyde.

It being winter, I was busy with my choir singing Christmas songs all over the valley. There had been one very long day where I not only sang with my choir at the Henderson Winterfest, but my color guard had also marched in the Winterfest parade, so it was a long and exhausting day of performing. We got home and we were just finishing praying as a family, and me and my sister were talking more about this Bonnie & Clyde musical. And my dad said, "What? Whose idea was that? Like, '*singing* let's go rob a bank and kill people'?"

And I responded with, "What?"

In that moment in December of 2015, I realized I had no actual idea who Bonnie and Clyde were.

I had been familiar with these names and talking about this music with my sister, but I actually knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde.

My family was shocked that I didn't know that Bonnie and Clyde were American outlaws, that died in a brutal police ambush. It was honestly pretty devastating. Not finding out that they were outlaws, but realizing I knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde. I was incredibly tired, it was past midnight, and I was genuinely shocked upon learning who Bonnie and Clyde were and becoming aware of the fact that I had no concept of who they were or what they did, so we were all in the middle of my family room with only one small lamp on about to go to sleep and I could not stop crying. It was just the craziest thing to me; it really hit me. I knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde.

And once that realization was made, I dedicated myself to knowing everything about Bonnie and Clyde.

I don't know, I just felt so strongly that I had to learn who they were and the details of their lives. And I honestly learned a lot. And after dedicating that much time and energy into learning something, you kind of become attached; you can't let that go. I found the story really fascinating. And my sister continued telling me about and sending me the music of the show, and I researched that as well. Comparing the theatrical version of the story and the facts of what actually happened was really interesting, and seeing where the writers drew inspiration from. As I learned more about what actually happened with Bonnie and Clyde, and their lives as individuals and their lives with each other, I realized that people really romanticize them and make them out to be really cool, but the true story is way more pathetic than cool to me. Committing crimes is wrong, kiddos.

So I got more involved in learning the history of Bonnie and Clyde that spring. That's the time when I learned that the Bonnie and Clyde car was in Primm, Nevada; only about an hour away from my house. It became my dream to go see the car. When we drove by Whiskey Pete's (the hotel/casino where the car resides) on our choir trips, I would tell all my friends, "Guys! There's the Bonnie and Clyde car!" And they were actually super supportive of my obsession... whether or not that was a good thing, haha. I even did my final project in history class about Bonnie and Clyde. I still have the poster from my presentation.

I also became more invested in the music of the show. My sister continued sending me songs from the musical and telling me things about it. I remember her telling me to listen to the song "Picture Show", the opening song, and I remember hating it because by that time I had learned a lot about Bonnie and Clyde and it has pretty much no historical accuracy, at least none that we can prove, save the fact that Bonnie Parker did have an obsession with the movies. But it shortly after came to be a favorite of mine. I remember the day I finally listened to the full soundtrack. The songs are genuinely so good.

For those of you that don't know, Bonnie & Clyde did run on Broadway during 2011. It had thirty-three previews then opened on the first of December. Bonnie & Clyde only lasted for a month on Broadway, though, its last show being the thirtieth of December. It's not really a question of why that is to me, though. The music is wonderful, but the lyrics are an absolute tragedy. In the song "Raise a Little Hell", Clyde is contemplating his first murder, and I remember the first time I heard that song and watched the scene I literally laughed out loud. The text was hysterically amusing, but the scene was supposed to be far from funny. It's not shocking that it closed. Still, it got rave reviews from audiences, and from watching clips of the show, there is no question why that is as well. The talent was there, the music is outstanding, it was a fun interpretation of the story in my opinion, and the sets, costumes, lighting, and makeup work were absolutely outstanding. So while it didn't last long and isn't necessarily a fantastic piece of art, I still have a deep love for it. The music is genuinely beautiful and moving. And while I had previously hated "Picture Show", it became the song from Bonnie & Clyde that all of my friends could sing because I sang it all the time, the main reason I was so excited to see Alcatraz when the chamber singers visited there on our tour of San Francisco (the musical version of Clyde has an obsession with the infamous Al Capone), and it became a go-to duet for me and Emily. (She was always Bonnie, and I was always Clyde--I always found it super interesting and not at all shocking that we so easily identified our characters that way. Her dreaming of being a performer, me ambitiously fantasizing about being in power and respected.)
I had an interest in the history and in the artistic interpretations, but Bonnie and Clyde also kind of became my friends. When I was sixteen I honestly had a major identity crisis. I didn't know it at the time, but I was suffering from situational depression. That's why I hesitate to say that my relationship with Bonnie and Clyde was healthy, because most of the time back then I'd say it wasn't. When I was listening to Bonnie and Clyde, I wasn't lonely, not even sad. I was just nothing. It kind of took away the feeling for me. I stopped feeling anything. I consumed myself in my interest in them. I think back then I needed to care about something because this is something I struggle with constantly, but especially back then because I didn't even understand it. I associated myself with the things I took interest in, because I didn't yet see myself as a whole person that was interesting on her own. So when I was upset, I would sing Bonnie & Clyde to myself, and then I wasn't upset anymore. The first time I saw the photos of Bonnie and Clyde's bodies after the violent police ambush, it was so heartbreaking that I nearly cried, not just because seeing any human in that condition is devastating, but also because I felt like they were friends of mine. "Dyin' Ain't So Bad" was kind of my theme song back then, which I'm sure you all can guess was definitely not a good thing.
It wasn't good. But even still, when I think about it, when I hear a Bonnie & Clyde song, it's nostalgic to me. I think about how great that time of life was and wish to go back for a second. Even though it really wasn't good. But I had made such a deep bond with them that it feels that way. And even though I'm better now, once you develop that relationship with something like that, you can't really erase that.
Even long after that time when I was in the middle of that obsession, I still feel such a deep love for Bonnie and Clyde. Not for what they did, because that was wrong, but just the relationship that I have with them. Since 2015, I've been really drawn to them.
Over the past year Bonnie and Clyde have stayed very dear to my heart. One time I was talking to this guy at a church gathering in Cedar City, he got me talking about how I enjoy theatre, and he mentioned that he got to see a show on Broadway once. I asked which one. He tells me it was Bonnie & Clyde. What?!?! You can imagine that I freaked out, because no one has seen Bonnie & Clyde. It only ran for a month. I believe he said that it was the show they could get tickets for that day so they didn't really know what to expect. I think he thought it was weird. Both of those things are understandable. Anyway, I'm not really one to enjoy talking to a stranger at a social event, and especially not a man, but once he mentioned Bonnie & Clyde I was absolutely beaming after that; he couldn't get me to stop talking about it. When he introduced me to some other people there after that, he said, "This is Elizabeth. She likes Bonnie and Clyde." Shoutout to you, Daniel from the YSA ward.
When I was at college in Jumpstart (I think you guys will be hearing about this in some upcoming Jumpstart content) we had to give, I think, a ten minute speech on a topic we researched. You already know your girl gave her speech on Bonnie and Clyde. It was really awesome to further expand my knowledge on a subject I care so much about, especially since this time I had databases to look at. I loved researching Bonnie and Clyde further.
My latest run-in with Bonnie and Clyde was on the fourth of July this year. We were heading out on our family vacation to Disneyland, and on the way there, we finally got to see the Bonnie and Clyde death car. It was absolutely wonderful. Pretty exciting and emotional for me, as it was something I've wanted to do for quite awhile now. Getting to be there with the car I've seen countless pictures of, plus all the other cool stuff they have about Bonnie and Clyde, like the newspaper articles, a documentary about them playing on a screen, a bunch of stuff Clyde made (the thing I remember best is the mirror he made for Bonnie--staring into that was soo spooky and cool), and the shirt that Clyde died in (so many bullet holes--it's absolutely tragic), it was just so fascinating and incredible to be a part of. It was a life-changing experience and I can't wait to go back. I'd recommend it to absolutely everyone, but I'm afraid they won't take it as seriously as I do, and it's really important to me. But I'm going to have to take a chance on people paying attention to the things that matter to me sooner or later. So seriously, go check out the Bonnie and Clyde car. Go study up on Bonnie and Clyde.
Thanks for reading, thanks for supporting, and thanks for the love.
--Lizzo

Disney Princess Series: Rapunzel

Hello family, friends, followers, fans, and fandomeers! I'm very happy to be returning to the blog. Thanks for the patience. Let's catch up before we get started.
For starters, in more or less a month my niece will be born! I can't wait to meet her.
Emily did great in her performance of The Music Man. You've never seen a better Marian. She got rave reviews all around.
I went on an incredible vacation this summer with my family! I still get so excited when I talk about this, but I finally lived my dream of seeing the Bonnie and Clyde car. It was a wonderful experience witnessing even more history behind the people I have studied so much about. Hoping to go back again someday (especially since I had the audacity to not sing one single Bonnie & Clyde song while I was there?! Unthinkable.). We spent two days at Disney California Adventure and Disneyland which were absolutely fantastic and so fulfilling. For those of you in the loop, it was during that crazy heat wave, but still super awesome. It's always a great day at the happiest place on earth! So glad I got to make my return to Disneyland after three long years of being away from my fave. We stopped right outside the Seven Magic Mountains on our way back. The best time with the best people in the best places.
This summer I was enrolled in an institute class at UNLV, Pearl of Great Price A. I went with some awesome friends and it was a great time. Very socially fulfilling and it was fantastic to be able to study the gospel there every week. I learned a lot.
I recently just lost my job because my employers work from home and have just moved away. I'm spending some time at home and getting our lives organized before getting a new job.
Now to address the subject on everyone's mind. How are the mission papers coming along?
As I said I was going to in the previous post, I made a return to counseling. It took me about a month to get into one but I'm honestly so glad that it did, because I saw someone that was able to help me a lot and I learned so much. It was a really great experience.
I'd like to also thank everyone that was so supportive during that time. I had a sort of confession moment on Instagram (@itsanadventur) before my first session about what was really going on with me and you were all so supportive of what I was about to do and very kind. You guys were all calling me brave and I have never really thought of myself that way before. Thank you all for those of you saying I'm awesome for what I'm doing, and supportive of this work I'm putting in to serve a mission. It is more comforting and encouraging than I will ever be able to express or you will ever be able to understand. Thank you.
I finished counseling at the end of August and then went forward to do the pre-mission evaluation. It took longer than I thought it would but it went very well. I am now in the final stage of submitting my mission papers. They are all completed. I recently submitted them to my bishop and had an interview with him. I now will have two interviews with my stake president. My mission papers should be submitted in about a week.
If you have any questions about how the process I'm going through works, feel free to ask! With that said, the personal details of my mission application process have been very costing. Someday I'm sure I'll write a whole blog post just about this, so someday the full details will surely all be yours. But it's quite honestly too soon. I'm very excited to serve a mission. It will be happening very soon. And once I have a mission call I will be more than happy to talk about it with all of you! But while we're in this waiting game I won't be wanting to talk about my mission very much, since I don't even know what it is yet. This has been a very slow-moving process for me and once I know more about my mission I would love to discuss it with you all. Thank you again for your continuous support and love! And thank you for understanding.
Today, guys, we're back to talking about our favorite ladies, the Disney Princesses, and today's princess is Alan Menken's return to Disney Princesses (with lyrics by the marvelous Glenn Slater), the (as far as I remember) fiftieth film to come out of Walt Disney Animation Studios, an absolute cutie and fan favorite. She's Rapunzel and we absolutely love her. I'm weak for her story, honestly; Tangled has a plot that really gets me going every time.
Okay, so can we talk about how efficient Rapunzel is with her time?! Not usually the sort of thing I highlight when we're talking about why we love the Princesses but seriously. This woman wakes up at 7:00 AM, sweeps til the floor's all clean, polishes, waxes, does laundry, mops, shines up, sweeps AGAIN, and all in fifteen minutes?! I mean, how?! We love and support a hard-working woman.
Rapunzel's super well-rounded too. The amount of random tasks she does in "When Will My Life Begin?" is incredible. This girl can do it all. The Nancy Drew of her generation.
Sadly, though, Rapunzel is an abusive situation; Mother Gothel has her trapped in the tower and convinced that the outside world is dangerous. Maybe if Rapunzel hadn't taken up candle-making, Mother Gothel wouldn't have had as much power as she did in "Mother Knows Best" with all those spooky effects. But it was a jam while being simultaneously tragic and comical so we'll allow it. The interesting thing about this is that Mother Gothel and Rapunzel obviously frequently have this argument, about Rapunzel going outside. We know that Rapunzel is a strong believer in fate and destiny (while Flynn is a strong believer in horses) and that is a contributor to why she so badly wants to go outside, especially to see the floating lights which come out on her birthday every year. There is no way that's a coincidence, right? Rapunzel's also a reader as we find out at the beginning of the film. I really think this contributes to her dreamer quality and her intelligence. Like, you can tell she isn't quite buying into all these things Mother Gothel's saying. They don't make sense to her. That's because she knows better. She's a dreamer and an intelligent one at that.
Those qualities can get you just about anywhere. How incredibly strong is Rapunzel? Wow, she's absolutely fantastic.
Because she's so intelligent, Rapunzel was quick-thinking with her frying pan when Flynn broke into her tower and thoroughly questioned him with the help of her loyal chameleon friend Pascal before placing her trust in her one way out of the tower and to see the floating lights. A deal was made, and our princess used her powerful mind to get out of the tower and into the world she's been waiting for years to see.
And she loves it!
But like all of the best things in life, it's not all smooth sailing when you first get out there. Rapunzel was overjoyed to get out of the tower, but then she freaked out a lot, and honestly that segment where she keeps going back and forth about whether or not it was a bad idea to leave is way too relatable. It honestly used to always remind me so much of band camp. When you get home after a long day of marching and you're all like "I am never going back!!!" Only to wake up the next morning to say, "I have to go back."
I think it's really important to note here that strength is not the absence of weakness. That was a really crazy and scary thing that Rapunzel did. Flynn even tried to convince her to go back. But Rapunzel knew what she wanted and nothing was going to stop her from getting it. No ruffians or thugs were going to get in her way. In fact, she bonded with them. She used her dreamer quality to connect with people that were very different from her, because she saw that they had human hearts in common. Wow, she's so brave.
*in the voice of that guy who narrates the Pokémon TV series, if you know you know* Our story continues as a royal guard catches up to Flynn, who has recently robbed the palace of the crown that Rapunzel is holding hostage in her tower so Flynn will take her to see the lights. The pair is chased into a cave which begins to flood with water and leads to the tragic death of Rapunzel and Flynn... if it weren't for Rapunzel's quick thinking.
After a quick confession between the two, Flynn reveals that his name is actually Eugene, while Rapunzel says that oh yeah by the way SHE HAS MAGICAL GLOWING HAIR. Which lit up the cave and allowed them to escape. Thanks for coming through with those problem-solving skills, Rapunzel!
As the next series of events unfolds, our princess displays hopefulness and courage as she not only develops her relationship with Eugene, but stands up to Mother Gothel once and for all, and while she's scared of giving Eugene the crown (WHICH MOTHER GOTHEL BROUGHT TO HER JUST TO BE LIKE "HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT YOU HE JUST WANTS THIS CROWN"), she goes through with it and it ends up working out for her! We love and support a gal who faces her fears and finally lives her dream of seeing the lights. What a wonderfully positive woman.
However, tragedy strikes as Eugene's former partners in crime, the Sabbingtons, capture him, say he escaped with the crown, and then try to kidnap Rapunzel only for Mother Gothel to rescue her. Rapunzel goes back home to the tower, devastated about how she was wrong about everything.
(BUT SHE WASN'T. SHE WASN'T WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.)
Shortly after her return to the tower Rapunzel realizes her TRUE IDENTITY. She is the lost princess. She confronts Mother Gothel about the matter (we love and support this brave princess), but is bound and gagged in her own tower. Meanwhile, Eugene escapes prison (thanks to their friends, the ruffians and thugs of the Snuggly Duckling) and travels to Rapunzel's tower to save her!... where he is attacked by Mother Gothel and slowly dies.
But not before Rapunzel shows her courage in the face of evil one more time, and agrees to stay with Mother Gothel forever if she is allowed to heal Eugene. Wow, we are so impressed by a loving and brave princess! It's a super tragic moment, especially when Eugene displays that love and bravery right back and cuts her hair off before she can heal him. Wow. We're crying. And so is Rapunzel, because Eugene (her new dream *insert many tears*) dies.
Did you guys know crying is a gift? Being able to express emotion and release negativity is difficult, and a talent. And it especially came through for Rapunzel today, as her magical tears healed Eugene! Mother Gothel fell to her death, Rapunzel was reunited with her family, and all ended well.
We love Rapunzel because she faced her trials with love, honesty, positivity, and courage. In the words of another princess we all know and love, "Have faith in your dreams and someday your rainbow will come smiling through."
Wishing that for all of you and sending you all my love.
--Lizzo

Happy Five Years!

Hey guys. It's been a hot minute. We have some things to talk about.
Since the last time I talked to you guys, I finished my first year of college! The main reason I haven't been able to get my life together to write a post. Jumpstart was an absolute blast. I learned so much, experienced great things, and made a ton of awesome friends. Highlights of the last few months were our trip to LA in which a LOT of awesome things happened, and our big movie-making project. (You can watch our movie here.) More details to come once I finally release the Jumpstart content I have planned. I think you guys are gonna really love it, just like I loved Jumpstart.
In the second half of the semester, I started taking another class alongside Jumpstart, math, and my voice lessons. At SUU we have a program called the EDGE program that is required for graduation. The EDGE program centers around planning and completing a project in order to make us career-ready. I took the first class for the program, "Becoming an Engaged Learner", which is pretty much just about becoming familiar with the EDGE program and how to be the best college student you can be.
Lots of great things have been happening in between. Saw lots of concerts, operas, recitals, and plays whether they were at Basic Academy or SUU. Had a lot of character birthdays. Went to the first ever Jumpstart reunion where all the Jumpstart classes past and present met together for a nice evening. Had a nice Oscars-type ceremony for the Stage and Screen Jumpstart where we got to show off all the movies we made and be with each other for one more night. Got to talk to ALL THREE of my guys on Kyle and da Boys Day, since it was on Carter's p-day. Spent a bizarre amount of time with Emily and Josh.
SPEAKING OF EMILY AND JOSH. I am excited to officially state on the blog that I am going to be an auntie!!! Emily and Josh are having a baby and I am way happy about it. I can't wait to meet him/her.
Emily is also starring as MARIAN PAROO in Cedar City's community production of The Music Man! I could safely call it one of the best musicals of all time and Emily's wanted to be Marian forever. So happy she gets to live this dream. The show opens on June 1! You can find a link to buy tickets on her website, emilydimond.com.
So, now that I've finished my first year of college, I've moved back to Henderson. We're not entirely sure how long; I'll just be staying here until I leave to serve my mission. I got an excellent job as an assistant for my friend, who sells Lularoe. I feel totally blessed to be there. We're already enrolled in an institute class and taking trips to the temple every week.
And I told you guys I would keep you updated on it last time, and it's been a long time since then, and a lot has happened. How are the mission papers coming?
I finished counseling after three weeks. After meeting with my bishop I was able to start my papers. I was getting them done pretty well and was excited to turn my papers in on the twenty-eighth of April, the soonest I would be able to submit the application. To be so honest, I was really naïve and hopeful about the whole thing. No problems in being hopeful about life, not at all, but I didn't really know what I was doing as much as I thought I did. I met with my bishop a few days before that day, and he said I would almost definitely need a pre-mission mental health evaluation. I went to do that just over a week ago, and the news we got was definitely unexpected. Long story short, based on the past year, if I submit my papers now I will most likely be dismissed from service. However, if I take the appropriate steps and wait longer to get my evaluation and submit my application, I will be ready to go. I will be going to counseling again for more or less three months and will soon after that be ready to submit my application. It will be in sometime between August and November, just depending on how long the process takes.
That's a lot longer than I expected, but that's honestly so okay. I felt really at peace with it just a few minutes after I found out, and I am so grateful for the Holy Spirit because I was able to calm down and realize that this is truly a blessing because of that gift.
So what will I be doing now that I'll be staying in Henderson a little bit longer? I'm going to continue to work. To go to institute. To go to the temple. To enjoy my time with my family and even my friends. I'm going to continue preparing to serve. And now I'm going to be volunteering at my high school, with my choir and theatre (I promise Mr. Calkins, theatre is my love too! I'd be happy to be there and help if you ever want me to be) and hopefully my band (if I ever talk to Mr. Kase about it). I might even read some books. Close my open draft for Story 3. Write some music. I'll be here with you guys for a little longer for sure. I'm gonna thrive and I'm going to follow God's plan for me, because that's why this delay is happening. There's a plan here. Thank you to all of my family and friends that have been supporting me during this change and reminding me that the Lord is on my side in all of it.
So I make a return to the blog for a very special occasion.
Because DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS.
We are celebrating five years of It's an Adventure!
As I reflect on the *casual cough* last five years at this time, I am filled with gratitude.
Within about the past year and a half of the blog's life, it's honestly kind of exploded. I met so many new people, and writing has been a big part of my identity for my entire life (like literally, my entire life), but suddenly I was talking about it way more, and people were really supporting me in the idea. Guys, the number of views I get on posts now is way more than I ever would've thought I could achieve with my small audience of great family, friends, followers, fans, and fandomeers, and I can't believe how supportive you guys have been of this small piece of art I'm giving you guys. I really feel the love from everyone. Thank you for reading and thank you for liking it. It means so much.
It's been a really humbling year. I've always had a really big ego and a really strong need to do things alone. Living on my own for the past year, it was a really grounding and strengthening experience. Every one of my family and friends have been so supportive and helpful. I've learned that love really runs deep, because a lot of my relationships became stronger than they've ever been this year, and nothing really stops that love from existing; love is truly not about seeing a person a lot and even talking a lot. I'll message you when I think of you because I promise I think of you, and I probably write about you all the time, and the love is always there no matter what. I've come to realize even more than I already knew that I would work endlessly to get the things that I want. I'm always happy but I'm never satisfied. Happiness is a simply great way to live; I'm really just trying to live my best life, and I've realized more than ever this year that as a person that thrives on honesty I need to be honest with myself most of all, because I am always more free and a happier person when I accept what is happening in my life and then give myself time to mourn so I can move on and be happy again as quickly as possible. But to me being content is like giving up. It's like settling. I can't imagine a world where I'm not trying to get somewhere better than where I am. Especially being as young as I am. Being satisfied is where progress stops, and I never want to do that to myself.
I learned a lot about writing this year. And even about singing, as I continued studying that a little as well. I realized how much there is for me to learn in this world and I can't wait to create more and more content for you guys day after day in various forms. I've learned about my Savior Jesus Christ, and how His purpose is to not only save us but to also strengthen us. I have felt that strength and I find it unbelievably awesome and am filled with a new sort of amazement and gratitude thinking about it. I feel so excited to spend a coming year and a half helping other people find that knowledge and feel that type of love.
I'm just all around grateful right now. There is so much love around here on so many levels and I am so happy that this is my life and that I get to do this for people and that people have done so much for me.
I think many people thought I would study music when I went to college, and music has blessed my life in so many ways. On an intellectual level and a soul level. I could talk about that all day, but that's a subject for another time. However, I can't imagine a world where I am both pursuing a future that isn't writing and totally happy. But when they find out what I'm really doing they know it's right, they love it, and they support it.
Thank you.
I appreciate the love you give the content, and that you give me. I appreciate the patience you guys show me, urging me to put my life before the blog's life. (Even though, as they say, blog IS life.) I appreciate the conversations we have about the content here. And I'm so glad that when I share what I have to say, you guys give yourselves permission to speak as well. It makes it all good and worth it.
In the words of the great lyricist Jamie Houston from High School Musical 3: Senior Year, "It feels like forever. What could be better?"
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I love you guys.
--Lizzo
Facebook: It's an Adventure
Instagram: @itsanadventur
Twitter: @itsanadventur
Goodreads: Elizabeth Day
YouTube: Elizabeth Day

The Hufflepuff in Me

Hello all!
Soooooo my apartment was being remodeled and it's been absolute chaos but it's done now. It's still going to take me five million years to recover from it though, haha.
As I told you in the previous post, I had an interview with my bishop about starting my mission papers. It couldn't have gone better! I won't be able to start my papers for a little bit longer, so I can go to counseling. I'll let you know when we move on to the next step.
The missionaries have been beyond helpful and encouraging during this time. They are the bests friends I could've asked for, are incredibly positive, and have the best advice on everything. I have gotten so much comfort and support from writing them. I'm telling you guys, if you know any missionaries, write them. You well be blessed for serving the servants of God.
Today we're going back to the blog's roots and PUTTING THE LIT BACK IN LITERATURE.
The other week I was on the phone with Elder Carter Estes, about a week before he left for the MTC, so I could be sure I got to talk to him before he left. He was telling me about his mission, and how some of the missionaries have maids. Like, people to do chores for them. And I was not fine. He said he would totally be able to do that, but I said I wouldn't. He eventually talked me off of my "imagine someone else doing my own work for me" cliff, but I at first told him, "The Hufflepuff in me says no."
I guess that sounds pretty funny, but I mean it. I don't remember a time in my life that I wasn't a Harry Potter fan, and then Pottermore was created and we all were ecstatic. I was sorted into Hufflepuff, and I've always known how correct that was. I really identified with the house.
I follow this really good Harry Potter account on Twitter (@PotterWorldUK, if you're an HP fan give them a follow) and the other day there was the typical post reminding us about, to quote the post, "kind Slytherins," "brave Hufflepuffs," "stupid Ravenclaws," "twisted Gryffindors," all the things that are always brought up in order to defy house stereotypes. (Ugh.)
The caption for the picture? "Your Hogwarts house does not define you."
I mean, I guess? But isn't that why there were Hogwarts houses? I guess it's not the house that defines us, it's us that defines the house. There was a reason people were put there. It grouped together a bunch of people that valued the same qualities.
We all know that not everyone has every quality that their house is known for. And we all know everyone has qualities from every house. I have the honesty of a Gryffindor, the creativity of a Ravenclaw, and the ambition of a Slytherin. That's what hatstalls are all about.
But even still, as is discussed in a Sanders Sides video that I'm not gonna talk too much about because I could go on forever about what I think about it, Hogwarts houses have brought a great sense of identity to many Potterheads, and we know not everyone is exactly as they are expected to be, whether it's an accurate expectation or not. I've always been proud of the fact that I'm a Hufflepuff, because to me it made so much sense.
Hufflepuffs are known for their neutrality, which I don't think I would've ever thought I possessed because of how emotionally led I am. But then I remember my strange gift with objectivity. It's a cool writing tool, because I can jump from emotion to emotion pretty normally whenever I need to feel something for character purposes. I also possess this ability that is normally how people see this trait in Hufflepuffs, being able to listen to a problem someone else has and give them advice with as little bias as possible. I'm really okay with the fact that I'm unable to truly understand people, and I think that makes it easier for me to listen to them. Justice, balance, and peace are the ways of Hufflepuffs.
The trait I mostly associated my Puff self with was loyalty and that's because I've always had a strong sense of it. I stick with people. I'm a "we're friends once, we're friends forever" kind of person. I think of leaving people, and it just feels unthinkable. I would have to try to work it out. I can't leave one of my people. The only thing that ever makes me drop someone is if I feel I've been betrayed... so, essentially... the opposite of loyalty.
*in a Thomas Sanders-esque manner* Okay so quick STORYTIME on the subject of loyalty.
We're gonna flash back to my freshman year of high school. I was fourteen years old. It was late March. I was on the chamber singers trip in San Diego. (WOW I've been going back to the first two years of high school a lot lately and it's got me FEELING.) I was going to have to miss the last day of the trip to go to a color guard competition in Henderson. I was at dinner with the choir, the day we had sang, and I was having a really good time with my people, and then I found out. I had had to miss a guard rehearsal for the trip already, and they decided there were too many changes for me to be able to catch up on the day of the competition. They weren't going to let me perform.
I cried.
I was given the choice to still be in Henderson to support my team. They would love to have me there. Or I could stay with the choir and go to SeaWorld with them the next day. In the end I chose to stay with the choir. I knew in the end that that was the best decision, because I know I probably just would have cried more if I had gone to the color guard, been absolutely depressed, because I was there watching them but couldn't actually be a part of them. And I would've known that I left the choir as well. Staying with the choir, at least I was actually participating, being a part of them. That night even still I just felt like I was letting someone down either way. It was a sad end to the day.
Before we all went to sleep/have our scripture study session we so frequently liked to have on our trips, Mr. Duff pulled me aside and told me I was only feeling this way because I am such a loyal person and I didn't want to let either of my groups down. Those words were really comforting, and I knew they were true.
The final Puff trait I kind of want to address is their love for hard work, kind of what I was talking about when I referenced my conversation with Carter. This is a good thing, because it makes me incapable of giving up. It can also be a bad thing, because I never feel like I'm doing enough. (Lizzo, you completed multiple homework assignments. It's okay that you didn't ALSO write a chapter.) But at the very least it makes me very determined, whether or not I come through, which I try to as much as I can.
As far as hard work goes, in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone in the Sorting Hat song, the exact words he sings about the Puffs' love for hard work is how they are "unafraid of toil". The word "unafraid" always really struck me. People like to think of Hufflepuffs as cinnamon rolls. That's the reason people feel the need to acknowledge that there are "brave Hufflepuffs."
I mean, really, guys? Are brave cinnamon rolls really that uncommon?
Because of course many Hufflepuffs are cinnamon rolls. I know that firsthand. So I guess this is pretty silly for me to say considering how not brave I am. But have you ever met a Hufflepuff? Like, really? They're fierce. It's fantastic, really.
Thank you all for the love and support. Sometimes out of nowhere I realize how much I really have and am absolutely amazed. I have an overwhelming amount of support. Thank you so much.
I love you right back.
--Lizzo

Disney Princess Series: Tiana

Hello all.
Between now and Thursday, not a lot has happened. We had a pretty chill weekend. I worked a lot of extra hours. IT SNOWED and is a lot more beautiful and happy than I expected it to be. I finished Friends for the second time and started it for the third time. I got to hear from Quentin L. Cook as he was speaking at SUU to the young adults in the area. My favorite thing that happened is that I got to start the process to serve a mission! I had my first appointment with my bishop and have another on the day I publish this. All very exciting, but not a lot.
With my new excitement to serve a mission and new appreciation for missionaries, I think I realize now more than ever how much the missionaries need to hear from you. They need love and encouragement and strength so please write them! If you have a missionary friend start sending them an email once a week; it doesn't have to be long. They will appreciate all your stories and love, and they will appreciate it from anyone! Go for it even if you guys barely talk. I once emailed a friend I hadn't talked to since eighth grade and it was totally cool. They will love it! And you will in turn love the words you get back from them. You will feel the peace of the Spirit.
Today's Princess post should be short and to the point as well because I have never actually seen this film.
Because while I DO NOT MESS WITH VOODOO IN ANY WAY (and that includes in a DISNEY ANIMATED FILM) I absolutely love Tiana. And while I can't give you very specific plot points as support, I will hype her up all day.
Why? She's so hard-working. She's so passionate.
From what I know about Tiana, she has so much love in her heart for the people around her, and she's very helpful and kind and very friendly, but she also is very assertive and stands up for herself. I love having Tiana as an example of how those two things can coexist. Kindness and love does not mean people get to simply walk all over you.
I love Tiana for her ambition. Her biggest dream is to open the restaurant, and nothing gets in the way of her working toward that vision. She's not willing to stop for anything, or to slow down. Tiana is a person who is focused on her goals and won't let anything shake her. That is my favorite kind of person. She's not a quitter.
I wish I had more words; I wish I had more things to say for how great of a Princess Tiana is. But I honestly do think Tiana's beauty can be simply put in those two points, because she does value love and hard work more than anything else, and she really shows that. She has a lot of integrity.
She's honestly a beyond perfect role model and I'm so glad we have her. As the first Princess of the post-renaissance, I feel like many people were skeptical of Tiana, and Tiana exceeded expectations; she more than delivered. As she always does.
I will do my best to do so as well.
Thanks and much love.
--Lizzo

Unexpected Thoughts of Hope

Hi guys!
The most recent major event was that I got to sing in NATS regionals in Salt Lake City at the University of Utah! (Wow that is a BEAUTIFUL campus.) I sang classical and Emily sang both classical and musical theatre and while neither of us moved on in the competition Emily did great and so did I! Other highlights include spending time with Josh's family and stopping by East High once again. Go Wildcats.
It was a long and tiring weekend, but we had a restful day on MLK Day and now are back in school ready to go. Today I gave a speech on Bonnie and Clyde, which as many of you know I am practically a professional at doing so I SLAYED it. I feel so privileged to be in school right now and for the three years following the mission.
I LOVE getting to hear from my friends in the field. Reading about their missionary adventures and how much they love the Lord and get strength from Him is my favorite. My ward's missionaries also came and visited me this week and it made me SO HAPPY especially considering I was feeling pretty down that day, and I am loving my mission prep class and we're only two weeks in.
Speaking of missionaries, I have the BIGGEST news, guys! I finally have an appointment with my bishop to start talking about my mission papers! I will be meeting with him at 5:30 on Sunday.  This is finally happening! It's quite honestly crazy to think that this is really happening now, but I am so ready to start this part of my life! Be praying for me!
Alright guys, we all know I overwrite so who knows if this is really going to happen. But I'm planning on this piece being short and sweet. I wasn't really planning on it, and I don't have much to say, but a post regarding my personal struggles/thoughts/life was requested, so I'm delivering!
I wasn't planning on writing what I'm about to say. This post was originally a quite dreary post about inaction.
It was something I had been contemplating lately, because of MLK Day, and all the lovely quotes I was seeing regarding the person who does nothing being even more bad than the person doing something bad, because the person doing nothing could be fighting bad with good if they only spoke up for what they really believe in. It's a beautifully true thing, but it really bothers me, because I can't place when it happened because I don't think it was always this way, but I am so terribly afraid of being seen. I'm afraid of being wrong, so I'm afraid of speaking up and risking that. I'm afraid of messing up and actually making something worse. And sometimes I don't even know what I think, so I choose silence because I don't want to say something I don't actually believe. But silence is so terrible, when it comes for fighting for what's right and true and good. I don't want to live my life not saying anything ever, but I want to be sure of what I'm doing when I do it, and the fact that I'm afraid of being seen doesn't help at all.
So due to all of those things, sometimes I feel like I'm sitting still and doing nothing. How tragic is that? That's what I was going to talk about. I was going to try to make it a little hopeful at the end, but how?
It was on Tuesday night that I had these new hopeful thoughts, when the missionaries came, and then when I went to mission prep. I guess it all comes down to confronting my other fear... which is really the fear of fear.
I'm terrified of fear; I don't like the feeling, and I'm afraid of it making me lose, it being able to get to me in some way. Being scared of fear can stop me from speaking up because I'm afraid of my fear of being seen. It can stop me from taking a risk and learning because I'm afraid of being wrong.  The fear of fear is the real thing holding me back. I remember one time I was talking to Morgan, I don't even remember when or what we were talking about, but I told her that I never wanted anyone to feel afraid. She responded that it's okay for people to feel afraid as long as they step up and do the thing anyway. That's always been hard for me to grasp because of how much I hate fear and am always trying to solve problems that I can't fix. But the fears are not the real problems. The fear of fear is the real problem.
Who knows what got me to start feeling hopeful and thinking differently starting Tuesday night, really. I think it was definitely comfort from the Spirit of God, and learning about how to do His work, but I also got thinking about the idea that I am literally getting ready to dedicate a year and a half of my life to tell people about what I believe and serving the children of God. And it's not that it doesn't scare me. It's that I have such a need and desire to do it that no fear is even possible of getting in the way. Turning back crosses my mind all the time, but never seriously. Not as something I would actually do, but more as a concept. Like, I get scared, imagine backing out, and know that it is in no way realistic. It really isn't even an option for me at this point anymore. It is so much a part of my plan.
So it was comforting to realize I am speaking, I am saying what I need to say and what I think know other people need to hear. I'm trying to dedicate my whole life to that, really. I just really want to write. The mission really scares me, publishing a book really scares me, but the love I have for doing those two things makes me practically incapable of listening to those fears. It's an encouraging thought.
Today, family, friends, followers, and fans, I hope you remember that there is hope for you, no matter what you are afraid of and what seems to be standing in your way. If it hasn't already, eventually something so great will come along that you will be incapable of not being great, of not living your best life, of not saying what you need to say and standing up for the good. And as those opportunities come, while you're scared, you will realize just how capable you are and just what you can do. And that will give you hope for the future as well. If you can do it once, you can do it again, and while it may scare you every time you will be better at facing the fear.
I don't think the upcoming mission will take away my fear of being heard or being seen. I don't think anything ever will. But I do think that it will help me once again get used to facing my fear of fear, and being able to do the things I'm scared of, and I think it will help me get better at doing what scares me even though being scared may never go away.
The future is so bright. Don't be afraid of letting yourself see that.
Or rather, don't hold yourself back from being hopeful just because you're afraid of doing it.
Thanks and much love.
--Lizzo

Disney Princess Series: Mulan

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
I finished out last week sitting in on Basic's rehearsals for Little Shop of Horrors! They did a lot of choreography, a lot of singing, and I even got to see a rough run of the show! Highlights include getting to play the piano for them for a bit to help them rehearse, and running lines with Morgan. (And sharing my character ideas with her, because she can actually use them while I can only think about them. She is a fantastic Audrey.) It was excellent to get to see all of my people again. The show is going to be incredible! Go see them at Basic Academy at 6:00 on February 7, 8, and 9.
I was going to be coming back to Basic as a part of the panel of graduates to talk to the current seniors, but I have a singing competition this weekend. Sorry, guys.
Other than that, I'm back in Cedar City! It's a new semester! I'm still taking Jumpstart, and the only thing that has changed there is that I'm taking a new English class, intermediate writing this time. Other than that, I'm still taking voice lessons, I take contemporary math now, and later in the semester I will be taking the first EDGE class. I'll probably talk more about that when it actually happens. It seems that it will be a good semester... as long as I don't think too far into the future and overwhelm myself. On Monday we (the Dead-End Jobs Club, Emily and Josh and I) already watched Friends and ate brownies and it was only the first day. But it's nothing we can't do.
(Oh, and we started going back to the gym! Bless!)
At the institute I am taking a missionary preparation class! It seems like it's going to be really good and talk a lot about things that I haven't thought a lot about but definitely will want to know.
I'm currently trying to make an appointment with my bishop so I can start talking about my mission papers. I haven't been able to make that happen yet, but I'm going to try again soon. Can you guys believe this is actually real now? We've been talking about it as a definite thing for two years, and as a hypothetical thing for five years. This is really happening now.
If you guys will recall the post introducing the Disney Princess Series, Mulan was mentioned a number of times. I was really bothered by the fact that Mulan was viewed as the only option for what a strong princess could be. But guys, I love Mulan. Like, a lot. This post is her time to shine! We are constantly in awe of this heroine. It's not a big deal, but she SAVES CHINA.
Before she does that, though, she's just a normal girl in China. She's getting all dolled up to see the matchmaker. As far as relatability goes, Mulan doesn't feel out of reach. She's late, having a hard time remembering what she's supposed to have memorized, and apparently a slightly inelegant disaster. This will matter later. (Like when she SAVES CHINA.)
Well, it doesn't go well. Everything that could possibly go wrong does go wrong, and our princess is told she "will NEVER bring her family honor!" While I get the impression that everything Mulan had to do to please the matchmaker was forced on her, I don't think the idea of family honor was. Mulan loves her family. The love Mulan has in her heart is why we love her so much, really, because it's what drives her to do absolutely everything. The fact that she couldn't be enough for them destroyed her. She forgets that they love her for who she is, even if that's not who everyone else expects her to be. She's a different kind of beautiful than everyone else, and she fights through the judgment of others by trying to be true to herself.
And we totally get why Mulan loves her family. She has a caring mother, a wise father, and Grandma Fa is the crazy comedic Disney grandmother of our dreams. Mulan was raised with love in her heart which led her to bravery beyond words.
Things start to get even worse when they find out her father will be going to war again. There's no other men in the family to take his place. Mulan is pretty concerned about this, but the family insists that it's going to be fine, and that it will bring the family honor. She tries to let it go, but when she sees how unfit her father is for battle, she knows things really will not be okay.
Honestly, I'm blown away by how brave Mulan is. While watching her leave, you can see how afraid she is, but totally determined. Her love for her father doesn't even leave her with an option in her eyes. This is how Mulan TRULY brings her family honor. She doesn't even know it yet, but what she is best at is doing what is absolutely right rather than what people necessarily think is the best. Mulan is going to show everyone that this idea of honor doesn't have to look the same every time. So she GOES. And this could potentially be giving up everything for this, but it's worth it to her. So she goes.
(Mulan's awkwardness when trying to be a boy is so relatable somehow. I've never been in that situation but I just know that is how I would be.)
After Mulan gets to training with the guys, two things happen. The first is that it is made clear that this is going to be terrifying and near impossible for her. The second is that everyone's absolute JAM and ultimate motivational song is introduced. As the song goes on, Mulan and the guys train for the army, and things are going about as well as they did with the matchmaker. She's even SENT HOME. If that doesn't break your heart, nothing will.
But Mulan is the queen of determination. You will recall at the beginning of this powerful number that Shang, our military captain, orders everyone to try to retrieve an arrow atop a tall stake. No one is successful. As Mulan leaves, she tries one more time.
You can see the difficulty and pain in her face. But Mulan is not a quitter. She can't give up everything she was trying to do for her family that fast. She succeeds where none of the other men did. It mattered that much to her, and it probably didn't mean as much to anyone else. What a hero!
It's pretty safe to say that Mulan is good to stay in the army after that.
I can't imagine how strong Mulan had to have been in her time there. She doesn't seem super comfortable relating to the other guys. Maybe that's just because she's trying to be one, but I myself am like that too, so who knows. She intelligently kept her secret safe and became a valued part of the team, and a good friend to all of them.
In one fateful battle against the Huns, Mulan uses her wit to help win the battle. However, she is badly hurt, and her secret is revealed. This would typically cost her her life, but due to the friendship they developed, Shang spares her. Mulan is left heartbroken as she is removed from the army.
HOWEVER, Mulan finds out about Shan Yu's plans to attack the Imperial City, where the emperor is and where the army is headed. Does Mulan let her sorrow and her release from the army stop her? NO WAY! When something matters to her and there is work to do, our girl Mulan DOES it.
She goes to the city to warn Shang, but he won't listen to her, a person he used to trust so much. He wouldn't listen, even though it was the same mind that was behind everything else that "Ping" accomplished. Mulan drops some serious truth that resonates with the feminist in all of us: "You trusted Ping. Why is Mulan any different?"
Preach, girl.
And that wasn't to say that men and women AREN'T different, but rather to say that Mulan hasn't lost her value suddenly now that everyone knows she's not a man. It was ALWAYS Mulan, and the value was ALWAYS there.
Well, since Shang didn't listen to Mulan, the Huns take over the palace and have seized the emperor! Mulan is back on the team, because they desperately need her thinking skills. Mulan had an ability to plan.
I can't get over it. This girl is so BRAVE. She and her friends sneak their way into the palace and start taking things back over. Mulan makes her way to the roof, this girl who just got kicked out of the army, who wasn't even supposed to be there and risked everything, and started SINGLE-HANDEDLY fighting Shan Yu. To SAVE CHINA.
Ultimately, she knows that love is stronger than fear. The things that were important to her were too important to let fear take over. She had a job to do and she did it.
Shan Yu is defeated, thanks to our heroine who almost wasn't allowed to fight. Sometimes you just have to do what's right.
And then, the entirety of the Imperial City bows to her.
Mulan, our ordinary girl who could never seem to measure up, just wasn't being tested in the right places. She had intelligence and determination, but no one was looking close enough at what she had to offer. She went through all of those hard times, often feeling desperately alone, but kept on, and in the end is recognized by the emperor and all of the people of China.
Just watching Mulan react to the people's gratitude is beautiful. She can't believe this is happening to her. She is so ordinary and was just trying to do her job. She never thought it would end like this.
Anyway, Mulan is offered a position in the government, and goes home to live a happy life with her family, plus a nice visit from Shang. Living the dream.
Now that we have highlighted all of Mulan's beauty throughout her story, let's go back to the beginning where she appeared to not be anything extraordinary. She really was just a normal person.
That normal person? Is the same one who SAVES CHINA.
Mulan is here to show us that you can be who you are, whoever you are, as ordinary as you may be, and still find a way to make an enormous difference in the world. There is a place for you.
Keep that in mind. I will too.
Thanks and much love.
--Lizzo

Single Teenage Girl Writer and That One Guy

Hello all! Sorry for missing a post last week. Here's what's been going down.
We had a good Christmas with the WHOLE family here and did some Christmassy wintery stuff. It was fantastic. I've honestly seen more movies in the past week than I've probably seen in my entire life. (That's a major hyperbole, but for those of you that don't know I don't particularly like movies; I can never focus on them, and going to see movies in theaters makes me extremely anxious most of the time.) But they were all fantastic; The Man Who Invented Christmas (I mean, I can't just NOT enjoy a movie about Charles Dickens), The Last Jedi (I'm in love with Star Wars I'm in love with Star Wars I'm in love with Star Wars), and The Greatest Showman. (That one was more good than fantastic, but it was still a really good time, would watch again, the soundtrack is jammin', and it helped me heal my damaged relationship with Zac Efron. Also, who knew Hugh Jackman could dance that well?) And hey, before that I saw Wonder with Morgan and her mom and I was shocked at how much I liked that movie even though I was super anxious that night.
We've spent a lot of time chilling out. Like, a lot. I, a person who also doesn't watch a lot of TV, have also been reminded of the beauty of quality television. (The Friends truly are always there for me and Psych is the ultimate television program. Disney Channel throwbacks were enjoyed, but the Camp Rock films while comforting are noticeably less high-quality than the High School Musical films. It's beyond noticeable that they are not Kenny Ortega films.)
Oh yeah, and I got a biopsy. It was mildly stressful but now there's one more random thing in my life that I've done that I can overdramatize.
Anyway, here I am again relatively ill. However, I NEED to get better for tomorrow because I may go sit in on Basic's rehearsal for Little Shop of Horrors. Which I cannot do if I am ill. So PLEASE PRAY A LOT because I could jam out to Alan Menken by myself or I could jam out to Alan Menken with the most talented kids in the world.
It's a new year, new face, new makeup, new focus on writing and my life and happiness. I have been letting a lot of things get to me too much. When I get back to school, I'm reading more, writing more, working more, going on walks to my favorite places or just around, I'm making myself busy because when I'm not constantly going I'm losing my mind, and my current schedule is not making me as busy as I typically like to be, so I have to do it myself. Think of all the progress that can be made!
Anyway, today I am going to speak my TRUTH. My vulnerable single teenage girl truth. I, being a mature eighteen years old, am very wise. And I genuinely believe there are not enough people looking out for teenagers. Do adults just forget what it's like or something? Why do people treat children like they're not people? They're still people, just young underdeveloped people. They still have problems. Don't tell a teenager--scratch that, don't tell a person--that they don't have real problems. There's no such thing as a fake problem. If something is bothering you, that's a problem. No matter what it is. No one is looking out for the teenagers. No one is listening to the teenagers. No one is speaking to them. Teenagers need LOVE like any other human. They need to feel HEARD. If only there was someone writing for the teenagers. Like, speaking their truth for them or something. I wonder who could do that.
To get more specific about the teenage wisdom I want to share today, I was born a writer and a storyteller. I used to narrate life when I was super young, I would make up stories verbally or on paper, and I have been journaling since the beginning of time. Journaling is very therapeutic in that it is a way to think out loud privately; physically feeling and writing out your thoughts does it in a way nothing else can. It's also an excellent writing exercise, because if you write about your life, you don't have to worry about developing plot. The plot is already there. You can't get it wrong. All you have to do is find the most accurate and beautiful way to tell it, and I really like the opportunity to write a personal narrative and try to tell it to the best of my ability without an audience.
As a teenage girl who is very honest about herself and her feelings, I also know that just about every tragic story begins with, "So there was this guy."
Don't take that the wrong way, but most of my sad stories have to do with some guy I was tripping over, or someone else was tripping over, or a disaster of that sort. This is to the writer and journal-writer in your teenage girl heart. As a young girl first feeling an attraction for a boy, in middle school, people called me boy crazy, and I didn't really get it at the time because I am a WILDLY loyal person and I will stick with someone until they destroy me, and even a little bit after that sometimes. I've always defined "boy crazy" as just chasing after boys in general, and I was never really the type of person to jump from guy to guy. But now looking back on it, I know what they were talking about.
I would write about him a lot and think about him obsessively and I wish I could go back to preteen Lizzo and tell myself that he isn't everything.
I still have the journals from back then and his name and stories are in there way too much. I want to let you young teenage girls know some things.
Please do write about him, because he is a part of your life and there is no reason you should pretend your feelings don't exist.
But I even remember writing about having some problems with who he was, and write about them as if it was my job to fix those things about him.
If you have a problem with who a guy is, that you used to really care about, you are not obligated to like him still just because you liked him then.
I think that's a good reason why you should try to control how much you let him consume your thoughts anyway, because if it does get to that point it's almost like he's a part of you and you may be afraid of letting that go, because it would feel like letting go a part of yourself, and a part of yourself that you previously really liked.
But he is a PART of your narrative. He is not the narrative itself.
I'm not entirely certain what did it, but when I was thirteen I kind of came to my senses and thought, "What the heck am I doing?"
I dropped the guy. My friends became a really important part of my life, and I had really good friends that I started appreciating more, and it makes me so happy to think about those eighth grade friends because I have always had an unconscious appreciation for female relationships and I love having my closest friends be my fellow girls. I read more. I wrote more and developed a lot of stories, most of which didn't stick but it exercised that part of my mind. I LOVED being in choir. I started thinking about my future at Basic, and that year the mission age changed, so for the first time in my life that became a possibility for me.
I became a more diverse person once he was gone. I'm not saying he has to be gone for everyone. He had to be gone for me. But the well-balanced life is the ideal life. So many bad periods of my life were because I was too focused on one thing, and that one thing was almost always one guy. This is youth! Youth is the time to figure out your own personal self, to try things so you can find out who you really are. Why focus on one thing when this is your time to really live and figure out where you want the rest of your life to be.
When you write, write about him. But write about so much more.
I got better at taking up writing about school, family, friends, choir, color guard, EVERYTHING that was happening instead of ONE THING that was happening. I wrote about a guy if there was a guy, but I wrote about everything else. I told my full story instead of just one part of it. I frequently even just write my random opinions and thoughts on things. Life is so much better when it is well-balanced. That has never not been true. Tell your story the way it is really happening.
Write about the way things feel. Write about the way it feels to run laps with the color guard, how it felt in your lungs and your legs and your heart and your smile. Write about the exact way you started  and continued crying when your friends broke your heart. Write about the way the air feels on the choir's yearly trip to California. Write about the way your heart hurts when the sun hits the grass in a specific way in the morning and it feels exactly like the morning of a band competition, a moment you will never be able to go back to. Write about what made you cry in the shower. Write about what made you smile when you were just sitting at home with your family. Write about the moment you decided to take the risk. The moment you knew exactly what you needed to do about a given situation. And heck, write about how it felt when your eyes locked with his and you were just sitting at a piano smiling like an idiot because you were all caught up in your feelings for a second.
Life is so interesting. Bask in all of it.
The moral of my story today is that he isn't everything and I wish my poor younger self knew that. When I let myself live outside of a box, I really live.
Thanks and much love.
--Lizzo