I understand that I've said this so many times already, but it has been a very hard year. With that said, I missed a very important event on the blog: on May 27, 2021, the blog had its eighth birthday.
Normally on the blog's anniversary, I publish a post to celebrate the occasion, but this time life just got so out of control, or at least that's how I felt. I have tried. I just never got around to writing this post, but I definitely had plans for it.
The blog birthday post doesn't have a theme to follow each year. I just write about whatever feels appropriate, and whatever fits the spirit of It's an Adventure! I contemplated a few different things to write this year, and I finally landed on the idea for a post I wanted to write regardless but felt fit the bill for the blog's birthday. Like I said, it's been a rough year. I definitely would appreciate some advice right now, as I surely would have many times during the year. I've wanted to write a post about some pieces of advice I could've benefitted from over the course of my life, and that's what I wanted to celebrate this blog birthday with. I've narrowed it down to eight pieces of advice to celebrate eight years.
You don't need them to be cool. I adore being liked very much. As I've entered adulthood, however, I have gotten increasingly comfortable with the idea of myself as an individual. It sounds weird, especially for those of you that know me personally and know that I always have been quite a loner, a very independent person. But I so desired having friends in my youth, and once I had those friends, or had chosen the friends I thought I should have, I wanted nothing more to be liked by them, and at times when I felt I didn't measure up, I took that out on myself. I thought it meant something was wrong with me, or that I had to do something more to be liked. Only in the beautiful innocence of childhood have I ever really considered myself cool--once junior high hit, however, I definitely felt less certain of that. As I approach, twenty-two years of age, however, I've changed my mind again. I'm a pretty colorful person, and I think that's pretty cool. And I realize now that I was always this cool and vibrant of a person, but the people that I loved weren't always okay with me being that kind of person. Because that was true, I viewed myself as uncool and would suppress parts of myself that I wanted to be but thought the people around me didn't want to be. Let me ask you this, past Lizzo and all others that find herself in the same situation--who the heck made them the foremost authority on what is and is not cool? Their opinion isn't more valuable than yours, homie. If you think it's cool, don't let the haters stop you from being that way. And, consider this--who says you need to keep associating yourself with those people? Why do you need those friends? Why can't you find friends that you enjoy being with and enjoy being yourself with? To adapt the catchphrase of a dear friend of mine, the cool comes from within.
Stop writing secret admirer notes. Just be bold and say it with your chest, girl. It's more fun.
(This goes for everything by away. Tell the guy you like him, stand up for the people that are being mistreated, say what you think. At best it helps yourself and others, at worst it starts an adventure.)
(This goes for everything by away. Tell the guy you like him, stand up for the people that are being mistreated, say what you think. At best it helps yourself and others, at worst it starts an adventure.)
It's okay to just like what you like--you don't need to fit in or stand out. As you can infer from the first piece of advice, I really love fitting in. I hate being the odd one out. Well, unfortunately for me, I happen to be the odd one out a lot. My entire life people have called me weird in a variety of ways--that I march to the beat of my own drum, that I'm a character, you name it. It has driven me absolutely crazy (by the way, I hated being called crazy too). It took me twenty-one years of life to finally accept it. I stopped denying all these statements and finally just took an honest look at myself and realized the truth: I am really weird. I'm just very different from the majority of people. That has led to me feeling like an outsider for the majority of my life. As I've examined my life this year, however, I've finally decided that doesn't have to be a bad thing. When you think about it, what is objectively right or wrong about being weird? Why can't my favorite colors be pink and blue? Why can't I prefer cats over dogs? Why can't I love Taylor Swift? Why can't my two favorite movies be the 1992 Aladdin and A Quiet Place? What is so wrong with me sleeping with a book? What is wrong with being reserved but not being shy? I've finally accepted that the things that make me really quirky also make me really brilliant. I think I'm quite the fun person, to be honest.
With this said, I've had the opposite preached to me many a time in my life. Don't fit in--stand out! The same, however, is true. What is objectively right or wrong about standing out? Standing out isn't fun if you're manipulating who you are to make it happen. I've heard so many people say that being normal is boring. Some of the most "normal" people I know are also some of my favorite people. Why? Because it's who they genuinely are, and they are genuine about being that way. It is so beautiful, and there are so many types of beautiful people. So go ahead. Fit in. Stand out. I don't care. As long as it's true to yourself and true to what's good, that's what really matters.
The strong majority of people are not trying to hurt you. Sis, I don't know where you got the idea that anything otherwise is true, but it's not. Being born with anxiety probably wasn't helpful, but most people are trying their best just like you and are so very kind. If trusting people is too much of a leap to start, then begin with not fearing them. Because there is nothing to be afraid of.
With this said, I've had the opposite preached to me many a time in my life. Don't fit in--stand out! The same, however, is true. What is objectively right or wrong about standing out? Standing out isn't fun if you're manipulating who you are to make it happen. I've heard so many people say that being normal is boring. Some of the most "normal" people I know are also some of my favorite people. Why? Because it's who they genuinely are, and they are genuine about being that way. It is so beautiful, and there are so many types of beautiful people. So go ahead. Fit in. Stand out. I don't care. As long as it's true to yourself and true to what's good, that's what really matters.
The strong majority of people are not trying to hurt you. Sis, I don't know where you got the idea that anything otherwise is true, but it's not. Being born with anxiety probably wasn't helpful, but most people are trying their best just like you and are so very kind. If trusting people is too much of a leap to start, then begin with not fearing them. Because there is nothing to be afraid of.
Change is a good thing. As a person with anxiety, change used to drive me crazy. And it's not like change is entirely stress-free for me now. But a few years ago I finally realized the truth about change: it's what life is all about. I realized it's what Christianity is all about. I mean, my core belief in life is that Jesus suffered, died, and lived again for me so that no matter what happened to me in my life, I could have a second chance. That means the purpose of my life is change! Change isn't something we should run from or be afraid of. It's something to not just be anticipated but to embrace!
Take care of yourself. Sure, the purpose of your life is to take care of people. But people includes yourself, chica. Plus, it makes the rest of life so much easier if you are just making sure you have the things you need. It is okay to prioritize being okay. This doesn't mean being selfish, it just means making sure everything that needs to be taken care of is taken care of. (You are something that needs to be taken care of, honey.)
Don't apologize for taking up space. This is a lovely piece of advice that I've heard for years, but only this year did I fully embrace what it meant. I wonder if it was said so many times that it kind of lost meaning. I wonder if it was something that no one ever really elaborated about so I didn't ever actually understand it. What I've come to understand about the phrase is this: people apologize for just existing a lot. However, being alive isn't a crime. There's nothing wrong with you being in a room. There's nothing wrong with eating. There's nothing wrong with walking. Nothing wrong with breathing. I've apologized for/felt guilty for doing all of the above things. No offense to myself or anyone else, but it's ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with existing. In fact, I'm glad we all do!
Make the place you want to be wherever you are. In regards to concluding my missionary service and my college summer plans, people would always inquire to me about going home. That has annoyed me for a long time. I know what they mean: they're referring to where my parents live in Henderson, Nevada. But I hate that that is what people refer to as my home, because it's not. It certainly is one of my homes, because I consider all the places I've lived home. And Las Vegas certainly is my hometown. But it's not my main home, because my main home is wherever I live. I have spent so much time in my life wanting to be wherever I'm not, and not just physically. When I was eighteen I finally reached my breaking point with that matter. I felt like I had blown my freshman year of college, and I promised myself I would never face that level of regret again, not as far as it was in my control. So to me, home is where the heart is quite literally--home is wherever I happen to be. Because in my mind, home should be the place you feel most comfortable and I want to be most comfortable in whatever my current situation is. Not every situation is ideal, but it can always be better or worse. It's all about trying to make your situation the best you can and be as happy as you possibly can be while you're there.
I hope any of the above advice helps you. It definitely helped me to write it out. Those are some of the things I need to remember most, things that I too frequently forget. But when we live by those rules, when we prioritize happiness coming from inside ourselves and doing whatever is good and true, life is not only an adventure, but an enjoyable one.
Thanks for being a part of my great adventure. Here's to another great year!
Thanks for being a part of my great adventure. Here's to another great year!
