Wednesday, April 26, 2017

"Famefic"

Hello all! I literally just had to stalk my own Insta (@itsanadventur) to remember when the last time I published a post was. The only thing that's happened since then is my last chamber singers tour. So not a lot of big news.
Except for the fact that I just got some big news today. I had a really wild idea, and so I guess I kind of want to announce it. It probably isn't a big deal to any of you. But it's a really big deal to me. It's probably because for a long time I didn't consider myself a poet. But here's what happened.
I do write poetry sometimes. And so for one of my book projects in school I had to write some poems based on the book, and I liked them and kept them. I was showing them to my mom. And saying I was going to post it on the Facebook page because that's what I do with my poems. And my mom said it was so good that I shouldn't do that without a copyright. And so the idea was brought up to publish it in a magazine, and I was thinking that was a good idea. And that I would do that with all of my poems before I post them on the internet for you guys.
Upon researching how to do that, I got impatient after looking at about one web page and not getting anywhere. And then I thought about all the poems I have, waiting to get published in a magazine. Oh my gosh! Just imagine how long that would take. And I thought about the poems I currently have saved in my phone. They won't be the only ones, either. I'm only going to get more. And I had this insane idea to publish a poetry book.
Wow, big deal, Liz. All you ever do is talk about wanting to be a writer. Why is this a surprise? It's totally a surprise. Of all the things in the writing world, I never thought I would write a poetry book. Only recently have I accepted that I write poems at all. This decision felt like such a special thing to me. Honestly, the second I had the thought (I thought of it in the middle of a song during chamber singers rehearsal) I told my friend Alex right next to me, I was just so excited about it. Honestly a weird amount of excited, like, I was feeling ready to publish the book right then. This is going to take me years in reality. But the fact that it is something I'm going to do now is just unbelievable to me. So unbelievable that I felt it necessary to make a big announcement about it. This is something I never thought I would do. And I'm going to do it. I'm just so EXCITED.
And so I decided to write this post because I'm deleting the writing album on the Facebook page, since I really won't be needing it anymore. It currently only holds two things, but I'm deleting them both. I was only going to put more poems in there, but now that I've decided to do this incredible thing I won't be putting any more poems in there. You'll have to wait for the book to come out to read any more poetry.
So besides one random poem, the other thing in the album is this story. I actually wrote it a really long time ago, the ninth of March. But hey, it's still pretty good. That will be deleted from the album since the album no longer has a purpose, so I'm publishing it here so that this narrative of mine that I wrote about Fame still exists somewhere. This is a little piece I wrote because I really couldn't stop thinking about it one day. I realized how big of a deal all of this must have been for Iris. The fact that Carmen dropped out, and then shortly after Tyrone and Iris broke up? That was harder on her than she gets credit for. And so I wrote this piece. I hope you all enjoy it, if you didn't read it yet. And hey, if you want to read it again because you liked it, I'm not complaining.
So am I publishing a story as a really elaborate way to announce a new book I want to publish? Pretty much. But I love writing. I love this story. I love being alive.
And I love you, friends.
Enjoy.
--Lizzo
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Iris's history teacher was ignorant as heck. He walked into class, called roll, and asked, looking around, "Did you guys hear about Carmen Diaz?"
Of course they had heard about Carmen Diaz. She dropped out two weeks ago; they didn't think she had just been absent all that time. Besides, it was a small school. Word spread fast.
Iris had been there when she cleared out her dance locker. She was just getting done with a rehearsal with... well, she was just getting done with a rehearsal, getting ready to go home, when Carmen came in. They made eye contact for a moment, but broke it as soon as they could.Carmen looked uncomfortable. Iris knew she had been thinking about it. They all did. Iris watched Carmen clear out her locker and walk out of the locker room, still avoiding Iris's gaze. Iris watched her leave and knew it was for the last time.
Dance class the next day was awkward. None of them said anything about it. None of them needed to. They all knew where she was, or at least where she wasn't. Where she would never be coming back. Their silence acknowledged her absence.
She remembered looking at Tyrone and wondering what he was thinking. She had never seen her boyfriend-- wait, no, not her boyfriend-- stunned to silence before. He always knew exactly what to say. But that day he said nothing at all, nothing. She grabbed his hand on their way to go warm up, rubbed her thumb along his. She remembered thinking how brave he was, how much better he was than Carmen, because he had almost dropped out but hadn't.
How stupid was that? Tyrone was not brave. In fact, he was as cowardly as a person could get.
Sometimes Iris still wondered what Tyrone thought.
Her teacher started giving them notes. Iris copied the words into her notebook. Words that last week she learned Tyrone wouldn't be able to read.
No, she told herself. None of that. Tyrone is a loser. And you don't associate with losers.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Disney Princess Series: Ariel

(Spoilers for "The Little Mermaid" by Hans Christian Andersen.)
Hello all! Life has been coming to a close. I finished all my last festivals (one of them was a first as well for guitar).  I recently finished my last winter guard competition, as you probably heard about in my "Winter Guard Medley" video. I just got home a few days ago from my last All State concert. I'm about to go on my last chamber singers tour, then have my last pop choir show the week after that. But I honestly feel nothing but excitement and joy. As these things have been finishing up, and I've been afraid and sorrowing over that fact, I have actually been satisfied with every ending. They all were so good. I just love performing, I love creating, I love being a part of these beautiful things. I love doing this, and I love the way they all turned out. My heart has been nothing but full as everything concludes.
I just needed to write another piece! And a new Disney Princess piece is due. And Princess Ariel is very close to my heart. Can you believe that?
I never felt a particularly close bond to Ariel. A few things changed that. First, the stage musical. Like, wow. The Little Mermaid was honestly a great film, obviously, being the beginning of the Disney Renaissance, and I think it was made even better through the stage musical. Alan Menken is one of my favorite composers. So all of that contributed to me loving the musical and to it making me appreciate Ariel and her story more. But the biggest thing is I feel like the emotions were so much more tangible through the stage production. "Beyond My Wildest Dreams" describes the overall bright tone of the production and Ariel herself. Prince Eric has his song about the girl he met that he can't forget about, and we also see him getting closer to Ariel in more depth. We get more music from Ursula, so we get to see even more of her desire for power. But you know what really gets me? My favorite song from the show. "If Only". I feel like it shows us sides of the characters that were available to us before, but it describes it for us more, and gives us more of the feeling. We know that King Triton regrets not listening to Ariel, and that he loves her, and that he misses her. But this song allows us to feel his pain. We know Sebastian has taken care of Ariel her whole life. This time we get to see how he loves her. We know Eric is thinking about the voice. But what is more, and we get near confessions of this in the film but nothing this direct, this time we get to see him admit he has been spending a lot of time with Ariel and he is starting to love her but he can't forget about that voice either and it is hurting him. It's beautiful. And we all know Ariel's situation is dangerous. Her entire life is at risk. If she doesn't get this to work, everything is over for her. And I just wasn't feeling a ton of despair from her in the film. For the first time, when I started listening to this song, I felt actual fear from her. She was afraid, and really afraid. I finally felt the vulnerability and sorrow you would expect from a girl of her age with so little knowledge of the world, only knowledge that it was about to end. It was beautiful. Ariel became a real person to me, and a person that made me feel for her, a person I felt love for.
Okay, so that's the first thing. The second thing? Stupidly? Being sixteen. Yo, everyone always talks about how you know you're growing up when you start disagreeing with Ariel and being aware of her immaturity and stupidity. On the contrary. When I was little I think my views on Ariel were pretty objective. No super strong opinion on her. But something about being sixteen. If I'm being honest, some phases of my life in my sixteenth year were rougher, bluer (the overall color really does seem blue), and I started listening to music a lot more, and some of that music was The Little Mermaid. And at that time Ariel seemed more relatable to me than she ever had. Young, ignorant, lover of life, lover of love, immature, hopeful, sometimes joyful, sometimes sorrowful, sometimes fearful, and sometimes very lost. Honestly, I was a typical teen with all the intolerable teenage angst, just as Ariel is. Everything that nobody liked about Ariel, my melodramatic teenage girl heart came to understand.
So yes. I do feel a strong amount of love for her.
Have you guys ever read the original story? "The Little Mermaid" by Hans Christian Andersen? The original story is one of the main reasons people don't like Ariel. I have this book of every story written by Hans Christian Andersen (INCLUDING ONE THAT WAS NEVER PUBLISHED WHILE HE WAS ALIVE BUT WAS FOUND LATER, LITERALLY CRIED THE FIRST TIME I READ IT, IT WAS THAT GOOD) and it's pretty much my favorite thing in the world; I'm in the process of working my way through every story, and they are all so beautiful. He is without a doubt my favorite fairy tale writer. "The Little Mermaid" is a visually appealing story. The text in the story is so aesthetically pleasing it's unbelievable. If that's not enough reason to read it, it's also a really beautiful story, with heartbreakingly beautiful and tangible emotions used. In that story, our mermaid heroine ends up having to face more of a tragic fate than Ariel does. That really bothers people. Ariel was disobedient and they think she needs to be accountable for her actions. I do love the original story. I think it's one of the most beautiful stories ever written. The mermaid realized she'd made some bad decisions, and she can't fix them at the point she reaches, she can only make it worse. So instead she sacrifices herself rather than make it worse. She is rewarded for doing what little she can to redeem herself, being made a spirit of the air instead of turned into the foam of the sea. She doesn't get to go back to her family OR be with the prince, but at least she is something of beauty. That's the kind of ending people wanted from the Little Mermaid film. They didn't get that, and they found Ariel a lower quality character because of it. You turn against everything you know is good and still get what you want?
I was not bothered by that. And I have my reasons for it.
First, Ariel is admirable for her love of life and her bright spirit. She is just so happy. I love it. And when she falls in love with a human prince and she is told consistently that she can't have that, the ease with which her heart breaks is absolutely beautiful to me. If you didn't know this already, I have a strong love for vulnerability. And Ariel shows so much of it in her sorrow that she is not allowed to be with a prince that she isn't physically capable of being with anyway. The purity of that kind of sorrow is so beautiful to me.
Then she is approached by our villains. They are tempting her with the one thing she wants and the one thing she is not allowed to do. When people hit that point where it is the only way to get the only thing they really desire, they are willing to do crazy things. Here Ariel makes her stupid choices. She does what she does not want to do and makes a deal with the sea witch Ursula to become a human-- forever, if she can get Eric to kiss her in three days; if not, she is one of Ursula's poor unfortunate souls. What we know as viewers of the film (the dramatic irony is this film is strong) is that Ursula has a million and five tricks up her sleeve and there is no way for Ariel to win this one. Good characters have flaws; here are Ariel's.
Shoutout to Ariel and her friends for coaching her along the way, because that girl's flirting game is strong. Eric is totally falling for her and he would've kissed her if it wasn't for Ursula and her eel friends. Seeing the cuteness of those two having their adventures together is just so fun. Not only is her flirting game strong, but she knows how to be herself around cute guys. Ladies, take notes.
Then Ursula disguises herself as a human WITH ARIEL'S VOICE and makes Eric fall in love with her. Ariel is shattered, as any stereotypical sixteen-year-old girl would be. I love it. As Ursula's true self is revealed and Eric realizes who his true love is, the power couple works together to help save everyone. And it works! Yay!
Now comes Ariel's end. And the reason I love her for it.
Ariel couldn't belong to Ursula, because Ursula was defeated by them. But Ariel knew that she had disobeyed. She knew she did the wrong thing. And she still loved Eric. And she still wanted to be able to live in the human world. And she knew that she couldn't have any of that, because of the choices she made. Ariel was sad. But Ariel was also aware of all of that, and she was ready to face her choices and the consequences that came with them, the ones she didn't like. She had a strong air of responsibility about her, to me. If her father hadn't said anything. Ariel would've said goodbye to Eric and gone back to living in the sea for the rest of her life, without looking back... too much. But as we already discussed, King Triton loved his daughter, so much. So much that he saw how sad she was knowing that she had to leave and he decided to let her live with her human prince. In simpler words, Ariel was prepared to be accountable for her actions, and love and forgiveness is what gave her what she wanted. Her preparedness was what gave her the end she didn't deserve.
Besides all the reasons I love Ariel, her brightness, her love, her moodiness, the reason everyone else can't stand her is the reason I love her. She didn't like her fate, but she knew. She knew how to own her actions.
Much love for all of you. Thank you for reading. Thank you always, thank you always for reading, for watching, for listening. However you are a part of my life, and my life as an artist, thank you for being in it.
--Lizzo