Wednesday, April 26, 2017

"Famefic"

Hello all! I literally just had to stalk my own Insta (@itsanadventur) to remember when the last time I published a post was. The only thing that's happened since then is my last chamber singers tour. So not a lot of big news.
Except for the fact that I just got some big news today. I had a really wild idea, and so I guess I kind of want to announce it. It probably isn't a big deal to any of you. But it's a really big deal to me. It's probably because for a long time I didn't consider myself a poet. But here's what happened.
I do write poetry sometimes. And so for one of my book projects in school I had to write some poems based on the book, and I liked them and kept them. I was showing them to my mom. And saying I was going to post it on the Facebook page because that's what I do with my poems. And my mom said it was so good that I shouldn't do that without a copyright. And so the idea was brought up to publish it in a magazine, and I was thinking that was a good idea. And that I would do that with all of my poems before I post them on the internet for you guys.
Upon researching how to do that, I got impatient after looking at about one web page and not getting anywhere. And then I thought about all the poems I have, waiting to get published in a magazine. Oh my gosh! Just imagine how long that would take. And I thought about the poems I currently have saved in my phone. They won't be the only ones, either. I'm only going to get more. And I had this insane idea to publish a poetry book.
Wow, big deal, Liz. All you ever do is talk about wanting to be a writer. Why is this a surprise? It's totally a surprise. Of all the things in the writing world, I never thought I would write a poetry book. Only recently have I accepted that I write poems at all. This decision felt like such a special thing to me. Honestly, the second I had the thought (I thought of it in the middle of a song during chamber singers rehearsal) I told my friend Alex right next to me, I was just so excited about it. Honestly a weird amount of excited, like, I was feeling ready to publish the book right then. This is going to take me years in reality. But the fact that it is something I'm going to do now is just unbelievable to me. So unbelievable that I felt it necessary to make a big announcement about it. This is something I never thought I would do. And I'm going to do it. I'm just so EXCITED.
And so I decided to write this post because I'm deleting the writing album on the Facebook page, since I really won't be needing it anymore. It currently only holds two things, but I'm deleting them both. I was only going to put more poems in there, but now that I've decided to do this incredible thing I won't be putting any more poems in there. You'll have to wait for the book to come out to read any more poetry.
So besides one random poem, the other thing in the album is this story. I actually wrote it a really long time ago, the ninth of March. But hey, it's still pretty good. That will be deleted from the album since the album no longer has a purpose, so I'm publishing it here so that this narrative of mine that I wrote about Fame still exists somewhere. This is a little piece I wrote because I really couldn't stop thinking about it one day. I realized how big of a deal all of this must have been for Iris. The fact that Carmen dropped out, and then shortly after Tyrone and Iris broke up? That was harder on her than she gets credit for. And so I wrote this piece. I hope you all enjoy it, if you didn't read it yet. And hey, if you want to read it again because you liked it, I'm not complaining.
So am I publishing a story as a really elaborate way to announce a new book I want to publish? Pretty much. But I love writing. I love this story. I love being alive.
And I love you, friends.
Enjoy.
--Lizzo
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Iris's history teacher was ignorant as heck. He walked into class, called roll, and asked, looking around, "Did you guys hear about Carmen Diaz?"
Of course they had heard about Carmen Diaz. She dropped out two weeks ago; they didn't think she had just been absent all that time. Besides, it was a small school. Word spread fast.
Iris had been there when she cleared out her dance locker. She was just getting done with a rehearsal with... well, she was just getting done with a rehearsal, getting ready to go home, when Carmen came in. They made eye contact for a moment, but broke it as soon as they could.Carmen looked uncomfortable. Iris knew she had been thinking about it. They all did. Iris watched Carmen clear out her locker and walk out of the locker room, still avoiding Iris's gaze. Iris watched her leave and knew it was for the last time.
Dance class the next day was awkward. None of them said anything about it. None of them needed to. They all knew where she was, or at least where she wasn't. Where she would never be coming back. Their silence acknowledged her absence.
She remembered looking at Tyrone and wondering what he was thinking. She had never seen her boyfriend-- wait, no, not her boyfriend-- stunned to silence before. He always knew exactly what to say. But that day he said nothing at all, nothing. She grabbed his hand on their way to go warm up, rubbed her thumb along his. She remembered thinking how brave he was, how much better he was than Carmen, because he had almost dropped out but hadn't.
How stupid was that? Tyrone was not brave. In fact, he was as cowardly as a person could get.
Sometimes Iris still wondered what Tyrone thought.
Her teacher started giving them notes. Iris copied the words into her notebook. Words that last week she learned Tyrone wouldn't be able to read.
No, she told herself. None of that. Tyrone is a loser. And you don't associate with losers.

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