Thursday, November 1, 2018

Me and Bonnie and Clyde

Hey guys! Let's catch up with each other real fast before we get started.
Lately I've really been enjoying life volunteering at the high school and hanging out with the kids. The youngsters are simply fantastic.
About three weeks ago my mission papers were submitted. Under normal circumstances I would probably have a call by now, but there was a small setback so it took a little longer. However, that was resolved today so the next time I write for you guys, I will likely have a call! When I know more, I'll let you know.
Today's blog post was requested by my cousin Steph. Earlier this year (which I'll talk about more in a bit) I went on a family vacation, the first part of which involved seeing the Bonnie and Clyde death car. Many of you know this has been a dream of mine for about two years, and she requested that I write a piece about my origin story and relationship with Bonnie and Clyde, about how I came to be so obsessed with them.
Because I am in fact obsessed with Bonnie and Clyde.
If I had to note my very first run-in with Bonnie and Clyde, it wouldn't be a significant one. I was at the youngest twelve years old, but no older than fourteen. I was doing some research on my favorite actor, Jeremy Jordan. On occasion I go into these researching sessions, where I just look up information about topics that interest me, sometimes with a purpose in writing and sometimes out of curiosity. I was studying up on Jeremy that day and looking at all of the acting work he's done. It was said that his two most notable roles were as Jack in Newsies and as Clyde in Bonnie & Clyde. I was already very familiar with Newsies. That's how I became familiar with Jeremy, and as you all know it is my favorite musical. I wasn't familiar with the Bonnie & Clyde musical, or with Bonnie and Clyde at all. All I knew about them was that they were an iconic American duo.
Yes. I'm absolutely serious right now. I did not even know who Bonnie and Clyde were.
And I didn't give it a lot of thought for many years.
During the late summer of 2015, my sister moved out of our house. I was sixteen years old and it was really important for me because I felt like I relied on Emily for a lot, and I kind of needed to figure out how to be my own person. So it was a really good time for me, but also pretty sad. Like, I wasn't living with my best friend for the first time. We still messaged each other frequently, though. As you guys know, my sister is a performer; she's a wonderful actress and singer, so she's very interested in the theatre community. One day, I think she was visiting us over winter break or something, she told me about how she's been listening to Bonnie & Clyde and it was actually pretty good, something I think she'd mentioned before as well over text. I was familiar with this musical by name, but had never heard any of it. She played a song for me, "This World Will Remember Us". I already knew that Jeremy Jordan was leading in the Broadway production, but starring opposite Jeremy was Laura Osnes, another incredibly talented singer and actress. The music was indeed phenomenal. But I still didn't actually know the story of Bonnie and Clyde.
It being winter, I was busy with my choir singing Christmas songs all over the valley. There had been one very long day where I not only sang with my choir at the Henderson Winterfest, but my color guard had also marched in the Winterfest parade, so it was a long and exhausting day of performing. We got home and we were just finishing praying as a family, and me and my sister were talking more about this Bonnie & Clyde musical. And my dad said, "What? Whose idea was that? Like, '*singing* let's go rob a bank and kill people'?"
And I responded with, "What?"
In that moment in December of 2015, I realized I had no actual idea who Bonnie and Clyde were.
I had been familiar with these names and talking about this music with my sister, but I actually knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde.
My family was shocked that I didn't know that Bonnie and Clyde were American outlaws, that died in a brutal police ambush. It was honestly pretty devastating. Not finding out that they were outlaws, but realizing I knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde. I was incredibly tired, it was past midnight, and I was genuinely shocked upon learning who Bonnie and Clyde were and becoming aware of the fact that I had no concept of who they were or what they did, so we were all in the middle of my family room with only one small lamp on about to go to sleep and I could not stop crying. It was just the craziest thing to me; it really hit me. I knew nothing about Bonnie and Clyde.
And once that realization was made, I dedicated myself to knowing everything about Bonnie and Clyde.
I don't know, I just felt so strongly that I had to learn who they were and the details of their lives. And I honestly learned a lot. And after dedicating that much time and energy into learning something, you kind of become attached; you can't let that go. I found the story really fascinating. And my sister continued telling me about and sending me the music of the show, and I researched that as well. Comparing the theatrical version of the story and the facts of what actually happened was really interesting, and seeing where the writers drew inspiration from. As I learned more about what actually happened with Bonnie and Clyde, and their lives as individuals and their lives with each other, I realized that people really romanticize them and make them out to be really cool, but the true story is way more pathetic than cool to me. Committing crimes is wrong, kiddos.
So I got more involved in learning the history of Bonnie and Clyde that spring. That's the time when I learned that the Bonnie and Clyde car was in Primm, Nevada; only about an hour away from my house. It became my dream to go see the car. When we drove by Whiskey Pete's (the hotel/casino where the car resides) on our choir trips, I would tell all my friends, "Guys! There's the Bonnie and Clyde car!" And they were actually super supportive of my obsession... whether or not that was a good thing, haha. I even did my final project in history class about Bonnie and Clyde. I still have the poster from my presentation.
I also became more invested in the music of the show. My sister continued sending me songs from the musical and telling me things about it. I remember her telling me to listen to the song "Picture Show", the opening song, and I remember hating it because by that time I had learned a lot about Bonnie and Clyde and it has pretty much no historical accuracy, at least none that we can prove, save the fact that Bonnie Parker did have an obsession with the movies. But it shortly after came to be a favorite of mine. I remember the day I finally listened to the full soundtrack. The songs are genuinely so good.
For those of you that don't know, Bonnie & Clyde did run on Broadway during 2011. It had thirty-three previews then opened on the first of December. Bonnie & Clyde only lasted for a month on Broadway, though, its last show being the thirtieth of December. It's not really a question of why that is to me, though. The music is wonderful, but the lyrics are an absolute tragedy. In the song "Raise a Little Hell", Clyde is contemplating his first murder, and I remember the first time I heard that song and watched the scene I literally laughed out loud. The text was hysterically amusing, but the scene was supposed to be far from funny. It's not shocking that it closed. Still, it got rave reviews from audiences, and from watching clips of the show, there is no question why that is as well. The talent was there, the music is outstanding, it was a fun interpretation of the story in my opinion, and the sets, costumes, lighting, and makeup work were absolutely outstanding. So while it didn't last long and isn't necessarily a fantastic piece of art, I still have a deep love for it. The music is genuinely beautiful and moving. And while I had previously hated "Picture Show", it became the song from Bonnie & Clyde that all of my friends could sing because I sang it all the time, the main reason I was so excited to see Alcatraz when the chamber singers visited there on our tour of San Francisco (the musical version of Clyde has an obsession with the infamous Al Capone), and it became a go-to duet for me and Emily. (She was always Bonnie, and I was always Clyde--I always found it super interesting and not at all shocking that we so easily identified our characters that way. Her dreaming of being a performer, me ambitiously fantasizing about being in power and respected.)
I had an interest in the history and in the artistic interpretations, but Bonnie and Clyde also kind of became my friends. When I was sixteen I honestly had a major identity crisis. I didn't know it at the time, but I was suffering from situational depression. That's why I hesitate to say that my relationship with Bonnie and Clyde was healthy, because most of the time back then I'd say it wasn't. When I was listening to Bonnie and Clyde, I wasn't lonely, not even sad. I was just nothing. It kind of took away the feeling for me. I stopped feeling anything. I consumed myself in my interest in them. I think back then I needed to care about something because this is something I struggle with constantly, but especially back then because I didn't even understand it. I associated myself with the things I took interest in, because I didn't yet see myself as a whole person that was interesting on her own. So when I was upset, I would sing Bonnie & Clyde to myself, and then I wasn't upset anymore. The first time I saw the photos of Bonnie and Clyde's bodies after the violent police ambush, it was so heartbreaking that I nearly cried, not just because seeing any human in that condition is devastating, but also because I felt like they were friends of mine. "Dyin' Ain't So Bad" was kind of my theme song back then, which I'm sure you all can guess was definitely not a good thing.
It wasn't good. But even still, when I think about it, when I hear a Bonnie & Clyde song, it's nostalgic to me. I think about how great that time of life was and wish to go back for a second. Even though it really wasn't good. But I had made such a deep bond with them that it feels that way. And even though I'm better now, once you develop that relationship with something like that, you can't really erase that.
Even long after that time when I was in the middle of that obsession, I still feel such a deep love for Bonnie and Clyde. Not for what they did, because that was wrong, but just the relationship that I have with them. Since 2015, I've been really drawn to them.
Over the past year Bonnie and Clyde have stayed very dear to my heart. One time I was talking to this guy at a church gathering in Cedar City, he got me talking about how I enjoy theatre, and he mentioned that he got to see a show on Broadway once. I asked which one. He tells me it was Bonnie & Clyde. What?!?! You can imagine that I freaked out, because no one has seen Bonnie & Clyde. It only ran for a month. I believe he said that it was the show they could get tickets for that day so they didn't really know what to expect. I think he thought it was weird. Both of those things are understandable. Anyway, I'm not really one to enjoy talking to a stranger at a social event, and especially not a man, but once he mentioned Bonnie & Clyde I was absolutely beaming after that; he couldn't get me to stop talking about it. When he introduced me to some other people there after that, he said, "This is Elizabeth. She likes Bonnie and Clyde." Shoutout to you, Daniel from the YSA ward.
When I was at college in Jumpstart (I think you guys will be hearing about this in some upcoming Jumpstart content) we had to give, I think, a ten minute speech on a topic we researched. You already know your girl gave her speech on Bonnie and Clyde. It was really awesome to further expand my knowledge on a subject I care so much about, especially since this time I had databases to look at. I loved researching Bonnie and Clyde further.
My latest run-in with Bonnie and Clyde was on the fourth of July this year. We were heading out on our family vacation to Disneyland, and on the way there, we finally got to see the Bonnie and Clyde death car. It was absolutely wonderful. Pretty exciting and emotional for me, as it was something I've wanted to do for quite awhile now. Getting to be there with the car I've seen countless pictures of, plus all the other cool stuff they have about Bonnie and Clyde, like the newspaper articles, a documentary about them playing on a screen, a bunch of stuff Clyde made (the thing I remember best is the mirror he made for Bonnie--staring into that was soo spooky and cool), and the shirt that Clyde died in (so many bullet holes--it's absolutely tragic), it was just so fascinating and incredible to be a part of. It was a life-changing experience and I can't wait to go back. I'd recommend it to absolutely everyone, but I'm afraid they won't take it as seriously as I do, and it's really important to me. But I'm going to have to take a chance on people paying attention to the things that matter to me sooner or later. So seriously, go check out the Bonnie and Clyde car. Go study up on Bonnie and Clyde.
Thanks for reading, thanks for supporting, and thanks for the love.
--Lizzo

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