Monday, June 12, 2017

"The Absence of Light"

Hello all! It honestly hasn't been that long now that I'm thinking about it?? It's been what, two weeks? But it has been such a full two weeks since I last got a written post done that I can barely keep up.
Okay, so here's the update on life. I will try to keep it brief.
As you pretty much all know from the last post, I will be pursuing theatre in college, which is fun enough. It. Got. BETTER.
I will be majoring in creative writing at Southern Utah University-- old news. But NOW I have a double minor in film & screen studies and, once I get registered for it, theatre arts! Guys, it is so perfect. I really want to do work in those fields, but I don't know a lot about them, especially film. I can't wait to learn how to make beautiful art. (Guys. In the theatre minor I have to take a class JUST FOR SCRIPT ANALYSIS. I think I'm crying.) College is going to be an actual dream. In the words of my dearest, Alexander (as written by Lin), "I have so much work to do."
We wrapped up the rest of high school. I was given my final recognition for being in choir and color guard. I had my final party with my senior class and with my choir. And I even somehow avoided dropping out of high school. I GRADUATED. Yes, I am a high school graduate! It's honestly so wild. Thank you so much to everyone who's been really supportive of me. Like, this is a big deal.
By the time you guys read this, I will be on family vacation! We're going to visit my great-grandma in Boise, who we haven't seen for over ten years! I'll also have seen Newsies for the third time on stage, the second time live. (One time it was an event done in movie theaters, with Jeremy, Kara, Ben, and Andrew as the leads. It was perfect.)
Oh, and me and Em decided I'm taking voice lessons in college? I honestly feel highkey good about it. Yay singing! I mean, I don't know. I figured I would mention it or something.
Okay, so many of you have seen the blog's latest video, and I'mma use this post to give a little more backstory to it. This year I took an imaginative writing class  and it was honestly a highlight of the year. One of the many things I learned was the difference between a story and an anecdote. An anecdote is what most people think is a story. You tell your friends about an event. But a story is pretty much the same thing as an anecdote, except by the end your listeners understand some sort of change that occurred in you, or how the event affected you. We listened to some stories from The Moth, an event where people tell a story (not an anecdote) to a crowd of people for four to five minutes, which is honestly really cool; we heard some good stories. As a class we thought of a bunch of topics we could tell a story about, and narrowed it down to five we could choose from. Our goal was to write a story to be read out loud, that was four to five minutes long. No shorter, no longer.
I had a few problems with this. The first one? I thought (once I had chosen a topic) that I would end up underwriting and have to add more. Once I finished my first draft of the story, I tried reading it out loud. It was six minutes and forty-one seconds long. I had to cut out A LOT to make it fit within the time limit. I'm not kidding when I say I overwrite literally all the time. As you all can see from the video, it turns out I still went over time.
However, we never ended up sharing it in class. I was always going to share my story with you guys once we'd shared it in class, but we never ended up doing it. So this is a story just for you, family, friends, followers, and fans.
Here's my second problem. I kind of misunderstood the goal. I thought we had to write a story for each topic and share them all. The topics were "Broken Hearts", "Sudden Realization", "Mysterious Death", "The Absence of Light", and "The Perfect Family". For the first three topics, I easily thought of a story to share. I had a small concept I could consider for "The Perfect Family", but to be so honest, not really. The thing I had a REAL hard time choosing the topic for was "The Absence of Light". Which is funny, because it's the one I ended up choosing. I really couldn't think of any good story to write about that topic.
Eventually I found out that I only had to choose one story to write. Which was good, because a lot of the stories, upon thinking about it, would have been really hard to share.
Anyway, one day I was thinking about my time in the theatre that year. I really enjoyed my experience there. And I was thinking about the way it felt once the lights had dropped. I love that feeling. It's so exciting and tense and beautiful. And then I realized, "The Absence of Light". My experience in the theatre was the perfect story to share.
Since it was written to be read aloud, I thought I should make a video of it first. But I also wanted a written version. So here it is. I hope you enjoy it, and I love you all very much.
--Lizzo
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My last year of high school I finally auditioned for my school's musical. I really wanted to do well, because I really wanted to do the show after all those years of people trying to convince me to do a musical. I was also up against a lot of talented people, and I knew that.
It turned out that I did do really well. I didn't only get cast in the show, I got cast as one of the characters. Her name was Iris, and the second I saw my name next to hers I felt a connection. Walking in with a full awareness of everyone else being better than me and having no idea what I was doing, I guess that alone was kind of like being in the dark. One day some of my friends were joking about forgetting how to use mic tape. Little did they know that the mic check process had been giving me anxiety attacks for days.
Being there got less and less scary. I wanted to do really well in the part, so I worked really hard.
 I had my lines memorized within weeks of getting the script, over a full month before they were due. I constantly thought about how Iris would react to the things around her. We were required to think of a secret our character had. I thought of two. To become my character, I even studied ballet terms and how to kiss a guy-- both things required of my character, and both things I had never done. Being on stage stressed me out less, as did being in the theatre at all. Costume runs and mic checks stopped giving me anxiety. I even learned how to do my own makeup. Things got a whole lot brighter.
One of the beautiful things about the theatre is that it's literally entirely dark. The magic that the setting of the theatre creates is amazing. When we started runs with the tech, the feeling of the lights dropping, of waiting in the dark for the music, was the most awesome sensation in the world. You could feel the tension of everything sitting on edge, waiting for the show to start.
Opening night, the figurative darkness and the literal darkness kind of combined. That night there would be an audience. My first time playing a character in a musical in front of an audience. That knowledge was terrifying.
All that day getting ready, I had this weird kind of nervousness constantly popping up. As I put on my makeup, as I put on my costume, as I put on my mic, as I checked my mic, as we stretched and warmed up our voices, as we did our circle to get hyped up, and worst of all, as we waited. While we were busy I could laugh through the terror, but waiting was nearly unbearable.
Finally the time came. There were about five minutes left until showtime. We all gathered in the wings. I was between excitement and fear at that point. In the end, they were kind of the same thing.
We all prepared ourselves, knowing this was finally it, the real moment. Then the magical thing happened: the lights went down, and the entire theatre was dark. The energy, the tension, the anticipation was tangible. The silence was so thick it was almost loud. We all sat there in the black non-light, waiting. That felt like forever. Then the music started, you could feel the production come alive, and all my friends went onstage. You see, my character didn't appear for quite a few scenes in the show. By the  end of the first song, I was the only actor backstage.
You would think the audience applauding after the first scene would have made the audience seem real to me. I mean, I did know at that point that they were there. But it really hit me four scenes into the show. I was waiting backstage with my friends, with still a few scenes left until my first one. One of the actors made a dreadful pun about peanut butter, one that, having heard it nearly every day for three months, was only moderately funny, if that. When I heard giggles, soft laughter coming from the audience, I was in shock. There they were, a live audience, reacting to the things we were playing out on the stage in the moment. Laughing about stupid peanut butter jokes I had stopped laughing at long ago. We were doingt a live performance. There is no feeling more beautiful.
Finally, the scene before mine came. I was waiting backstage for my character's big introduction. The terror, which had subsided as the show played out, was back. As the actor on stage sang, with every note my nerves grew and grew stronger and stronger. Then the song was over. Only a few more lines. Our music director started playing the notes that cues me in.
At that point, I did something I probably shouldn't have. They say the house will be so dark that you won't be able to see them out there. I had been performing long enough to know that wasn't true. As I walked onstage and took my place, where I would be the center of attention, I took the whole thing in. Being onstage, as someone else, with people paying to watch me. I took a small look around, just absorbed the audience and their presence. It wasn't big enough for anyone to notice. I watched the video of the show afterward and even I didn't notice, and I'm the one who did it, so it must have been really small.
After I took in the audience, the fear was gone. Even though I was pretty new to acting, I had been performing for years. I took in the people sitting in the dark, then removed myself from them. I let go of Lizzo and became Iris.

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Happy Four Years!

Hello loving friends and fans!
Alright, so I wasn't planning on starting this post with an update. But quick update.
As many of you have heard already, last night I went to Basic Academy's theatre awards and I really enjoyed my time in the theatre and I did a lot of performing in high school (and in my life really but high school was really something else) and as high school has been coming to a close (more and more rapidly, it's kind of crazy) I have known that my days as a performer are over and something about that just didn't feel CORRECT. And last night I realized how stuck I got, and how much it didn't seem that I was ready to be done there. And so I decided that I will be pursuing theatre in college.
Now I must clarify, because many of you were confused as to whether I was changing my major. No, I'm not, I'm still a creative writing major. I can't stop writing, guys. That is what I was born to do. But I really feel I need to continue performing as well. I will be auditioning for stuff; I'm going to try to continue to get in the theatre. I am going to try to get a job in there doing something just to get me more exposure and then start auditioning for shows when I return from my mission. And right now I am minoring in theatre due to my stage and screen Jumpstart class, and I think I may go with it.
And you guys have been really supportive of that decision, so thank you for that. Many of you messaged me personally congratulating me and showing a lot of love. A lot of you were even highkey waiting for me to make that decision because you knew that I needed to stay in the theatre as well. Thank you so much.
I am honestly really happy about this decision. After I made that decision I genuinely felt happier than I have in weeks. Life used to be the coolest thing for me but for awhile now I've just kind of been discouraged. Like, nothing seemed exciting. I haven't wanted to be here because I'm running out of things to do, but then when I thought about moving I wasn't excited either. Nothing's really been able to satisfy me lately. Everything was so exciting and now for weeks I've been running out of reasons to even stay awake. And now I made this decision and I'm highkey just really excited to be alive again. And I think it's because I finally made the right choice, and I haven't been for months. I wasn't going to perform and I still need to. I really just need to, maybe we'll find out why later. But I'm happy. I'm not done yet.
Okay, now for the actual point of this post.
Many of you have been following the blog for a really long time, and many of you have just joined us within the year. However long you have been with us, I welcome you in joining us in the celebration of this special day! This is the blog's FOURTH birthday!!!
And these can be the hardest posts to write, but it's a very special day for me, so I always feel like I need to do it.
First, I would like to thank you all for your support of the blog. I remember on the All State trip I was writing a piece for the week (it was a Fame Friday) and I needed an outside opinion on something, and so I asked Angelo (choir fam) about it, and Selena (also choir fam) said it was special when Lizzo asks your opinion on a post, and it made me so happy because I love that people see how special it really is. This blog, this is the beginning of my public writing. It really is that important. And so thank you, thank you because you make me feel like by some miracle maybe I'm not just writing for myself. Thank you for letting me know when I introduced you to a new book, or when I helped you understand your social anxiety and made you feel like someone understood, or when you guys tell me you read my long paragraphs on Instagram even though you usually wouldn't read those, when you tell me I can produce anything, when you tell me every idea I have matters, and many more things. (Yes, all real things I have been told. I am beyond grateful.)
Thank you for every time you've told me in some way that I can write. Thank you.

My dearest, It's an Adventure!,
I can't believe how much we've done in our fourth year. I can't believe how much we've learned. We've experienced so much, and grown through so much. Remember the beginning of our fourth year? We were coming out of a hardcore depressive state. We were planning our sister's wedding. We were never quite happy. And here we are, getting ready to leave high school, with so much we did and so much more to do. We're excited to be alive and do stuff.
I think that's wild. The blog has pretty much been a high school story up until now, and its fifth year is going to be a college story, and in its sixth year it will be a mission story. The adventure really does only get better from here.
And this time it's really exciting, because in high school you were the choir's go-to leader and a four-year member of color guard and very well known and kind of even popular in the music hallway. (Strictly the music hallway fam, don't feel special.) And you were the person to know and on top of everything and you WERE everything and you were all that, and guess what? You're going to college and none of it's going to matter and you'll be on the bottom and you'll be NOTHING. And it's actually kind of ridiculous how excited I am for that! It's going to be a tragically humiliating experience, and that's going to be a really exciting adventure, to be absolutely nobody, to have to reidentify yourself because of the things that no longer make you special; like, the things you identified as you won't be you anymore. Maybe we can even try to build ourselves up to something.
Think about all the things we learned about writing! We learned about motif (Hamilton) and dramatic irony (Jurassic Park).  We learned how to really develop a character, and how to understand them by seeing where they stand in every part of the story (Fame). We really did learn a lot.
We learned a lot about everything, actually. We learned we are allowed to be who we want to be now no matter what happened in the past. We learned we're allowed to love ourselves. We're allowed to love our own work and our own heart and yeah, we're allowed to call yourself queen.
We had a lot of firsts. We had our first gym membership. (Our workout soundtrack is lit.) Our first guitar concert, and quartet, and festival. Our first name character in a musical. We had a lot of lasts, too. But we regretted those pretty much not at all.
We made so many good friends, and we got closer to the ones we had. We analyzed more art and got exposed to more art. (The Picture of Dorian Gray is golden and I don't understand why people find it boring.) We discovered we want to write poetry professionally! Can you believe that? We've grown so much.
Can we talk about how much we improved as a performer, too? Our performances got noticably better, on all accounts. We really just slayed the game this year.
We got a little crazy, too. We auditioned with harder songs. We performed bigger than ever. We wrote riskier. We asked people out just because we wanted to. And those are just a few examples. I swear we just act insane, honestly I can't even handle us sometimes. And we do all that because we know pretty much everything that happens in Henderson isn't going matter in a little over a month. We live like we are dying.
That's why it's been the best year we've had so far.
We really are so strong, independent, single, and beautiful.
Don't stop. You can't. You have a pace to maintain. You have so much left to do.
I really love you.
--Lizzo
Facebook: It's an Adventure
Instagram: @itsanadventur
Twitter: @Itsanadventur
Goodreads: Elizabeth Day
Youtube: Elizabeth Day

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Physical Health and Mental Disorders

Hello all! I went to check to see what's happened since the last time I've posted, but honestly, it would be easier to ask what HASN'T happened since the last time I wrote. I performed in my last pop choir show and I still miss it; it's my favorite show every year, a super intimate and fun performance. I sang my last choir concert and had a lot of great large and small performances at those various concerts. I went to my first and last prom with one of my dearest friends. I went to a luncheon for a scholarship I was awarded. I'm highkey still trying to catch up on life. Life has been a huge blessing lately. I am so lucky.
It's still May, and it's still mental health month! And today's story is a story of PROGRESS!!!
Today isn't a personal account, it's just a statement that needs to be made. And I've been planning this post for a few weeks, and I think it couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. A lot of my friends, and I mean a lot, are being worn down by life right now. They're going through things that are kind of causing their mental health to take a decline, in some cases small and in some cases large. Like, legit, it's kind of breaking me. So many things are happening to them and I can't make it better.
I once saw this post someone wrote about depression, how their doctor told them in order to fight their depression, they needed to get plenty of sleep, eat nutritious foods, and exercise frequently. Which they pointed out were all things their depression was preventing them from doing. And everyone was agreeing with them, which I understand. Because it's true.
But guys. That's exactly the point.
Your mind controls your body. And so when your mind is sick, that really throws things off. Your body does not naturally want to do things it should naturally want to do. So yes, you can't sleep, you can't control your eating, and you can't make yourself exercise, or whatever else your specific illness is preventing you from doing. Because those are symptoms of your illness. But doesn't it only make sense that you try to do the things that will cancel your symptoms out? The way to kill something bad is to combat it with the opposite good. So you have to do your best to do those things your illness is preventing you from doing, the things your body needs to do to remain healthy.
Sleep. Sleep enough. Even if you can't, don't do anything that will help keep you awake. Which might not make sense to you since you can't sleep anyway, but you shouldn't do anything that will prevent you from getting what you need. You need to make sure you're eating enough, and you get a lot of good food in that will help your body feel better. And make sure you do something to exercise every day. Working your body makes happy chemicals flow through it, and makes it feel better.
And those things that you need to do to take care of your body, they're what makes people frustrated. Because your mind won't let you. You can't do it. And that just drives people crazy. I can't do it, so why are people telling me that to make myself feel better I have to do this thing I'm not even capable of?
But when someone tells you to take care of yourself so you'll feel better, they're not expecting you to do it perfectly right away, or honestly ever. The illness is inside you, and that makes it way difficult for you to fix these things that your body doesn't want to do but still needs. But if you give in to the illness, it won't ever get better. You don't need to be perfect at taking care of yourself. You just need to do your best every day. Take all measures you can. Even if you end up lying in bed all night unable to sleep, even if you eat too much or too little one day, even if you don't exercise for a few days, you don't need to be perfect. Just try the best you can every day. And you won't be perfect, and you will have setbacks, and they aren't things to get frustrated about. It's something glorious about humanity, the fact that we're able to have downfalls and then recover from them, and imperfections and then perfect them. We're so flawed, and it's so human. It's so alive.
It's okay to be alive. It's good to be alive.
So I guess the point is, don't give up. Really, don't. Just because it's not working. Progress takes time, a short time or a long time, and maybe that's what's frustrating because we can't tell which one it will be, whether it will be days or weeks or months or years. But that's what this post is about. Don't stop yourself from progressing. Be okay with small victories and small downfalls. They're the only way you're ever going to get better. Don't stop yourself from getting better. Don't do nothing.
I love you. I really do.
--Lizzo

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

"Famefic"

Hello all! I literally just had to stalk my own Insta (@itsanadventur) to remember when the last time I published a post was. The only thing that's happened since then is my last chamber singers tour. So not a lot of big news.
Except for the fact that I just got some big news today. I had a really wild idea, and so I guess I kind of want to announce it. It probably isn't a big deal to any of you. But it's a really big deal to me. It's probably because for a long time I didn't consider myself a poet. But here's what happened.
I do write poetry sometimes. And so for one of my book projects in school I had to write some poems based on the book, and I liked them and kept them. I was showing them to my mom. And saying I was going to post it on the Facebook page because that's what I do with my poems. And my mom said it was so good that I shouldn't do that without a copyright. And so the idea was brought up to publish it in a magazine, and I was thinking that was a good idea. And that I would do that with all of my poems before I post them on the internet for you guys.
Upon researching how to do that, I got impatient after looking at about one web page and not getting anywhere. And then I thought about all the poems I have, waiting to get published in a magazine. Oh my gosh! Just imagine how long that would take. And I thought about the poems I currently have saved in my phone. They won't be the only ones, either. I'm only going to get more. And I had this insane idea to publish a poetry book.
Wow, big deal, Liz. All you ever do is talk about wanting to be a writer. Why is this a surprise? It's totally a surprise. Of all the things in the writing world, I never thought I would write a poetry book. Only recently have I accepted that I write poems at all. This decision felt like such a special thing to me. Honestly, the second I had the thought (I thought of it in the middle of a song during chamber singers rehearsal) I told my friend Alex right next to me, I was just so excited about it. Honestly a weird amount of excited, like, I was feeling ready to publish the book right then. This is going to take me years in reality. But the fact that it is something I'm going to do now is just unbelievable to me. So unbelievable that I felt it necessary to make a big announcement about it. This is something I never thought I would do. And I'm going to do it. I'm just so EXCITED.
And so I decided to write this post because I'm deleting the writing album on the Facebook page, since I really won't be needing it anymore. It currently only holds two things, but I'm deleting them both. I was only going to put more poems in there, but now that I've decided to do this incredible thing I won't be putting any more poems in there. You'll have to wait for the book to come out to read any more poetry.
So besides one random poem, the other thing in the album is this story. I actually wrote it a really long time ago, the ninth of March. But hey, it's still pretty good. That will be deleted from the album since the album no longer has a purpose, so I'm publishing it here so that this narrative of mine that I wrote about Fame still exists somewhere. This is a little piece I wrote because I really couldn't stop thinking about it one day. I realized how big of a deal all of this must have been for Iris. The fact that Carmen dropped out, and then shortly after Tyrone and Iris broke up? That was harder on her than she gets credit for. And so I wrote this piece. I hope you all enjoy it, if you didn't read it yet. And hey, if you want to read it again because you liked it, I'm not complaining.
So am I publishing a story as a really elaborate way to announce a new book I want to publish? Pretty much. But I love writing. I love this story. I love being alive.
And I love you, friends.
Enjoy.
--Lizzo
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Iris's history teacher was ignorant as heck. He walked into class, called roll, and asked, looking around, "Did you guys hear about Carmen Diaz?"
Of course they had heard about Carmen Diaz. She dropped out two weeks ago; they didn't think she had just been absent all that time. Besides, it was a small school. Word spread fast.
Iris had been there when she cleared out her dance locker. She was just getting done with a rehearsal with... well, she was just getting done with a rehearsal, getting ready to go home, when Carmen came in. They made eye contact for a moment, but broke it as soon as they could.Carmen looked uncomfortable. Iris knew she had been thinking about it. They all did. Iris watched Carmen clear out her locker and walk out of the locker room, still avoiding Iris's gaze. Iris watched her leave and knew it was for the last time.
Dance class the next day was awkward. None of them said anything about it. None of them needed to. They all knew where she was, or at least where she wasn't. Where she would never be coming back. Their silence acknowledged her absence.
She remembered looking at Tyrone and wondering what he was thinking. She had never seen her boyfriend-- wait, no, not her boyfriend-- stunned to silence before. He always knew exactly what to say. But that day he said nothing at all, nothing. She grabbed his hand on their way to go warm up, rubbed her thumb along his. She remembered thinking how brave he was, how much better he was than Carmen, because he had almost dropped out but hadn't.
How stupid was that? Tyrone was not brave. In fact, he was as cowardly as a person could get.
Sometimes Iris still wondered what Tyrone thought.
Her teacher started giving them notes. Iris copied the words into her notebook. Words that last week she learned Tyrone wouldn't be able to read.
No, she told herself. None of that. Tyrone is a loser. And you don't associate with losers.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Disney Princess Series: Ariel

(Spoilers for "The Little Mermaid" by Hans Christian Andersen.)
Hello all! Life has been coming to a close. I finished all my last festivals (one of them was a first as well for guitar).  I recently finished my last winter guard competition, as you probably heard about in my "Winter Guard Medley" video. I just got home a few days ago from my last All State concert. I'm about to go on my last chamber singers tour, then have my last pop choir show the week after that. But I honestly feel nothing but excitement and joy. As these things have been finishing up, and I've been afraid and sorrowing over that fact, I have actually been satisfied with every ending. They all were so good. I just love performing, I love creating, I love being a part of these beautiful things. I love doing this, and I love the way they all turned out. My heart has been nothing but full as everything concludes.
I just needed to write another piece! And a new Disney Princess piece is due. And Princess Ariel is very close to my heart. Can you believe that?
I never felt a particularly close bond to Ariel. A few things changed that. First, the stage musical. Like, wow. The Little Mermaid was honestly a great film, obviously, being the beginning of the Disney Renaissance, and I think it was made even better through the stage musical. Alan Menken is one of my favorite composers. So all of that contributed to me loving the musical and to it making me appreciate Ariel and her story more. But the biggest thing is I feel like the emotions were so much more tangible through the stage production. "Beyond My Wildest Dreams" describes the overall bright tone of the production and Ariel herself. Prince Eric has his song about the girl he met that he can't forget about, and we also see him getting closer to Ariel in more depth. We get more music from Ursula, so we get to see even more of her desire for power. But you know what really gets me? My favorite song from the show. "If Only". I feel like it shows us sides of the characters that were available to us before, but it describes it for us more, and gives us more of the feeling. We know that King Triton regrets not listening to Ariel, and that he loves her, and that he misses her. But this song allows us to feel his pain. We know Sebastian has taken care of Ariel her whole life. This time we get to see how he loves her. We know Eric is thinking about the voice. But what is more, and we get near confessions of this in the film but nothing this direct, this time we get to see him admit he has been spending a lot of time with Ariel and he is starting to love her but he can't forget about that voice either and it is hurting him. It's beautiful. And we all know Ariel's situation is dangerous. Her entire life is at risk. If she doesn't get this to work, everything is over for her. And I just wasn't feeling a ton of despair from her in the film. For the first time, when I started listening to this song, I felt actual fear from her. She was afraid, and really afraid. I finally felt the vulnerability and sorrow you would expect from a girl of her age with so little knowledge of the world, only knowledge that it was about to end. It was beautiful. Ariel became a real person to me, and a person that made me feel for her, a person I felt love for.
Okay, so that's the first thing. The second thing? Stupidly? Being sixteen. Yo, everyone always talks about how you know you're growing up when you start disagreeing with Ariel and being aware of her immaturity and stupidity. On the contrary. When I was little I think my views on Ariel were pretty objective. No super strong opinion on her. But something about being sixteen. If I'm being honest, some phases of my life in my sixteenth year were rougher, bluer (the overall color really does seem blue), and I started listening to music a lot more, and some of that music was The Little Mermaid. And at that time Ariel seemed more relatable to me than she ever had. Young, ignorant, lover of life, lover of love, immature, hopeful, sometimes joyful, sometimes sorrowful, sometimes fearful, and sometimes very lost. Honestly, I was a typical teen with all the intolerable teenage angst, just as Ariel is. Everything that nobody liked about Ariel, my melodramatic teenage girl heart came to understand.
So yes. I do feel a strong amount of love for her.
Have you guys ever read the original story? "The Little Mermaid" by Hans Christian Andersen? The original story is one of the main reasons people don't like Ariel. I have this book of every story written by Hans Christian Andersen (INCLUDING ONE THAT WAS NEVER PUBLISHED WHILE HE WAS ALIVE BUT WAS FOUND LATER, LITERALLY CRIED THE FIRST TIME I READ IT, IT WAS THAT GOOD) and it's pretty much my favorite thing in the world; I'm in the process of working my way through every story, and they are all so beautiful. He is without a doubt my favorite fairy tale writer. "The Little Mermaid" is a visually appealing story. The text in the story is so aesthetically pleasing it's unbelievable. If that's not enough reason to read it, it's also a really beautiful story, with heartbreakingly beautiful and tangible emotions used. In that story, our mermaid heroine ends up having to face more of a tragic fate than Ariel does. That really bothers people. Ariel was disobedient and they think she needs to be accountable for her actions. I do love the original story. I think it's one of the most beautiful stories ever written. The mermaid realized she'd made some bad decisions, and she can't fix them at the point she reaches, she can only make it worse. So instead she sacrifices herself rather than make it worse. She is rewarded for doing what little she can to redeem herself, being made a spirit of the air instead of turned into the foam of the sea. She doesn't get to go back to her family OR be with the prince, but at least she is something of beauty. That's the kind of ending people wanted from the Little Mermaid film. They didn't get that, and they found Ariel a lower quality character because of it. You turn against everything you know is good and still get what you want?
I was not bothered by that. And I have my reasons for it.
First, Ariel is admirable for her love of life and her bright spirit. She is just so happy. I love it. And when she falls in love with a human prince and she is told consistently that she can't have that, the ease with which her heart breaks is absolutely beautiful to me. If you didn't know this already, I have a strong love for vulnerability. And Ariel shows so much of it in her sorrow that she is not allowed to be with a prince that she isn't physically capable of being with anyway. The purity of that kind of sorrow is so beautiful to me.
Then she is approached by our villains. They are tempting her with the one thing she wants and the one thing she is not allowed to do. When people hit that point where it is the only way to get the only thing they really desire, they are willing to do crazy things. Here Ariel makes her stupid choices. She does what she does not want to do and makes a deal with the sea witch Ursula to become a human-- forever, if she can get Eric to kiss her in three days; if not, she is one of Ursula's poor unfortunate souls. What we know as viewers of the film (the dramatic irony is this film is strong) is that Ursula has a million and five tricks up her sleeve and there is no way for Ariel to win this one. Good characters have flaws; here are Ariel's.
Shoutout to Ariel and her friends for coaching her along the way, because that girl's flirting game is strong. Eric is totally falling for her and he would've kissed her if it wasn't for Ursula and her eel friends. Seeing the cuteness of those two having their adventures together is just so fun. Not only is her flirting game strong, but she knows how to be herself around cute guys. Ladies, take notes.
Then Ursula disguises herself as a human WITH ARIEL'S VOICE and makes Eric fall in love with her. Ariel is shattered, as any stereotypical sixteen-year-old girl would be. I love it. As Ursula's true self is revealed and Eric realizes who his true love is, the power couple works together to help save everyone. And it works! Yay!
Now comes Ariel's end. And the reason I love her for it.
Ariel couldn't belong to Ursula, because Ursula was defeated by them. But Ariel knew that she had disobeyed. She knew she did the wrong thing. And she still loved Eric. And she still wanted to be able to live in the human world. And she knew that she couldn't have any of that, because of the choices she made. Ariel was sad. But Ariel was also aware of all of that, and she was ready to face her choices and the consequences that came with them, the ones she didn't like. She had a strong air of responsibility about her, to me. If her father hadn't said anything. Ariel would've said goodbye to Eric and gone back to living in the sea for the rest of her life, without looking back... too much. But as we already discussed, King Triton loved his daughter, so much. So much that he saw how sad she was knowing that she had to leave and he decided to let her live with her human prince. In simpler words, Ariel was prepared to be accountable for her actions, and love and forgiveness is what gave her what she wanted. Her preparedness was what gave her the end she didn't deserve.
Besides all the reasons I love Ariel, her brightness, her love, her moodiness, the reason everyone else can't stand her is the reason I love her. She didn't like her fate, but she knew. She knew how to own her actions.
Much love for all of you. Thank you for reading. Thank you always, thank you always for reading, for watching, for listening. However you are a part of my life, and my life as an artist, thank you for being in it.
--Lizzo

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Adventures with Alexander: An Analysis of Character

Hello, all! Yes, I'm actually writing something! Super excitd about that, considering I haven't delivered a post to you all since November of last year.... But I'm beyond happy to be writing for you all today! For the past three months I've been busy working on the musical at my school, Fame. I've always really liked musical theater, and a few years ago I finally put my finger on why. I've been highly involved in music for pretty much all of my life, and I really enjoy singing and good music. But quality writing and storytelling has also been a really big part of my life, I would say an even bigger part of my life. And so a musical is telling a story, but combined specifically with the power of music, which is just perfect. I was cast as Iris Kelly, the best dancer at the school, classically trained in ballet, and really insecure about herself. Getting to be her was a priviledge, and the entire experience was life-changing, a highlight of senior year. Fame is truly one of the most spectacular pieces of art I've ever had the priviledge of being a part of. Two hours (or more) of rehearsing pretty much every day for months doesn't leave a lot of room to even really think about writing a post, so that's why it's been so long. However, I learned so much from being a part of this experience and this story that I really want to write it somewhere and share it with you all. But there's so much to say and no way to cleanly organize all the different things I've learned into a singular post. Instead, I'm currently writing (besides the Disney Princess series that I have not forgotten about) a series of posts on the blog's INSTAGRAM called #FameFriday. Every Friday I write a quick little piece of something I learned about writing or about the analysis of my character (and sometimes her boyfriend). If you don't already follow the blog on Instagram, follow @itsanadventur so you can keep up on that series. And, if you want to see Basic Academy's full production of Fame, you can watch that here.
The real point of this post is a anout another musical, one that was also kind of life-changing for me. Lin-Manuel Miranda's Hamilton was released in 2015. The first time I heard about it, I believe, was when Rick Riordan went to go see it and wrote a blog post about it. (He went the same night as Preisdent Obama; it was wild.) What I knew about it from that was that it was a hip hop musical about the Founding Fathers. Alright, cool. Then besides a Vine by the amazing Thomas Sanders and seeing the Tony nominations, that was the only exposure I really got to Hamilton. Then once the Tonys had come and gone, I wanted to see all of the performances, so I went to the website and watched them all. When I saw Hamilton's performance, I was absolutely SHOCKED.
Like, honestly. I knew what it was, but it was something I couldn't quite believe until I saw it. I had been hearing and seeing all this hype about it and I thought I was ready, but I had no idea what it would be like. They were wearing Revolutionary War uniforms and they were rapping. It was one of the craziest things I had seen in my life. And the first time, I didn't quite like it.
But it was like I couldn't stop watching it. It was so strange, I had to see it again. And I liked it more every time I saw it. And my interest and love for Hamilton escalated a lot more than I thought it would.
No, really. I was not expecting it to get so out of hand. I'm kind of sorry.
Before I talk about one of the main things I love about Hamilton, I would like to send a special shoutout to the guy who wrote it. He continuously inspires me to be a better writer. The work Lin did was so intelligent alone, but the personality he brings to his work makes it even better; he's awe-inspiring. Have you guys seen his performance of "Alexander Hamilton" at the White House? Years before the show came out when Lin originally had the idea of putting anything like this togethr, he got asked to perform at the White House Poetry Jam. He had this one song done, so he decides to bring it. He's telling them all about how he feels such a strong hip hop vibe about Alexander. Look at them all. Look at them all react. Look at them all laughing at him. I was watching that video for the first time after Hamilton was huge, everyone's favorite, award-winning, successful beyond words. And I'm watching this video from years and years before any of this has happened. I'm watching them all laugh at this man's idea. And I'm so in awe of the fact that he knew people thought his beautiful piece of art was ridiculous, and that he continued to make it because that's what you do when you have art to make. You make it no matter what anyone thinks. Lin, you inspire me.
Pretty much everyone knows that Newsies is my favorite musical, and that's still true. It's such an upbeat and inspiring story, perfectly written and designed as well. And what else I love about Newsies is how close I've gotten to the characters; they feel like my best friends. The thing with Hamilton, however, is the more I studied that musical, the more I realized I felt like Alexander. I didn't feel close to him, I felt like he was me.
And I think that's the great thing about it as well. Before the musical, Alexander Hamilton was the first  secretary of the treasury to me. Nothing I could really connect with at all, or even think to. The show turned him into a tangible person, someone we would know. For me, he turned into someone I was. If I had known the real Alexander Hamilton, this show proved that I might find I could relate to him a lot more than I would've originally thought. Putting their personalities into a language we could all understand made them so much more real to me. Real, and relatable.
The more I studied Alexander's character, the more he seemed like me. We just had so much in common. He's brutally honest and obsessed with the way people see him. He's constantly focusing on his legacy and the mark he's going to leave on the world. He can make enemies in a short amount of time, almost as quickly as he can make friends. Maybe even worse than all of that, he is prideful beyond belief, and thinks relatively highly of himself, even if he does have a way of tearing himself apart. It all just seemed too true to me. When I took all of that and combined it with the fact that he was known for his way with words, I turned into Alexander.
When I was three years old, I asked my mom if I could learn how to read. I was so young my mom didn't really think anything of it, but she wasn't going to say no to that kind of thing, so she gave me some computer game about reading and told me it would teach me how to read, not actually believing it would. One more thing Alexander and I have in common-- if we want something to get done, it's going to happen. I'm pretty sure I could read by the time I entered preschool.
That's probably the biggest thing. We both read everything we could; we just wanted to take it all in. Then we started creating the words ourselves. We just want to do more, produce more, write more. We never stop. The words are everything to us.
That is why I call myself Alexander.
Every line in the show resonates with me so much, it's like every time they talk about Alexander they're talking about me. I guess if I wanted to waste the rest of my life on this blog post, I could tear every song apart line by line and word by word and thus expose my entire life to you, but I'm not going to do that. Instead I'll share with you one quote that will give you a pretty good idea and that I sometimes say to myself when life gets real or crazy: "See, I never thought I'd live past twenty." Seems I would never be able to relate to that quote one bit, but that one hits me almost the hardest of all. For Alexander, that is very literal; the fact that he is actually going to survive past youth is amazing to him. But I was thinking about this song one day and was blown away by the realization that I couldn't quite believe that I would live past youth either. See, the next three years of my life are perfectly planned out. I'm in Henderson, Nevada for the next few months to finish my senior year of high school. Then I move to Cedar City to attend Southern Utah University, where I'll be in the Jumpstart program to do all of my general education in one year, in the stage and screen class. Then after that summer, I don't know where I'll be; I'll be serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints for a year and a half. The next three years of my life are perfect. But after that, after I'm twenty years old, the lines start to get a little blurry. That's when I'm start my creative writing major at SUU, but what else? I'll try to start my writing career, but how and when will that happen? Who will I even still know then? What else will I be doing? For me right now, it's genuinely difficult to imagine living past twenty.
That's just one example. But when they talk about Alexander, they talk about me. Even tragic lines like "I walk alone to the store" hold a place in my life, some that are too personal to share.
So once again, thank you, Lin. Thank you for writing this real-life character that I associate myself with. Never have I connected myself with a character from a musical this much. Thank you for introducing me to Alexander, because it was like being introduced to myself. Thank you for making the beginning of our beautiful nation a tangible thing for me and for so many other people, for making it all seem real and not like a story. Thank you for being an inspiring writer. Thank you for teaching me about our heroes.
And while we're talking about the heroes, thank you for building this hipster nation, that always wants to do things its own way, that overcomes hard times and fights for what is right and believes in freedom and equality. Thank you for building America. Thank you, James. Thank you, Thomas. Thank you, Alexander. Thank you, George. Thank you, all of you.
And thanks to all the friends out there for the continuous support you give me as a person and especially as a writer. Someday I am going to be publishing bigger things than a meaningless blog post, and I'm going to need all the love you guys give me, because better art includes better haters. Thank you for making me feel like an important writer; the support legitimately blows me away. You're amazing and I don't deserve you.
But I do love you.
--Lizzo

Monday, November 7, 2016

Oliver Twist

Hey there faves! I actually finished a piece of literature! I am done reading Charles Dickens's Christmas Stories. Not that I read all of them. I read A Christmas Carol, because it's the first one, not to mention the one everyone knows about, so you've got to read it. I can say that it definitely deserved all the hype it got. It was so well-written, and the details are so interesting since the story has been interpreted so many times throughout the years. It was great, but considering it's a never-ending series and I can't finish a book for my life anymore, I had to stop. The story was closed and I didn't have the patience for any more, despite its excellence. It does sadden me because I would like to have a knowledge of the less well-known works, but I didn't want it bad enough to continue through four more books that would be impossible to finish.
However, I have moved on to more work by Dickens! I am about to read Oliver Twist. I feel like all I really knew about Oliver Twist is that he's this starving orphan. Apparently, there's something about him getting caught up with criminals too! I'm walking into this story relatively blind, but it sounds decent to me.
And honestly, I guess it's kind of dumb that I'm saying I don't have the patience to read four more books that are usually less than one hundred pages and now I'm starting a book that's over five hundred pages. But, hey! I'm hyped.
Just a quick check-in, y'all. I love you!
--Lizzo