Adventures in the CLAM: First Transfer Call.... (April 8, 2019-April 14, 2019)

Hey everyone!

I guess I forgot just how much I got asked about my two-transfer mission call when I was actually in my first two transfers. I do know I was a lot more accustomed to explaining it back then, because I pretty much had a whole speech prepared because people asked about it so much. I did notice towards the end of my mission whenever I found myself having to explain it that I had grown a little rusty and wasn't as good and quick with my answer. For those of you that are still curious as to exactly how my mission went down (because it is a little different from a typical missionary's experience), you can check out a post about it here.

Let's just assume from here on out that I edit out typos, spelling errors, and emojis because I don't hate myself or any of you. Thanks, I love you all. Enjoy!

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Hello one and all!

LA LOVE:

Okay so everyone go listen to "Noyana/Come, Come, Ye Saints" by Vocal Point because that's my mission song, like that is what the mission sounds like.

So I am constantly flexing being from Vegas, whether it's because I don't think it's hot outside or because I'm used to city life, and there's a 500% chance it drives Sister Merkley crazy HAHAHA.

The mission is reading the Book of Mormon together and we're going to finish it in July before President Haynie and Sister Haynie leave. We are marking every mention of repentance and I am loving it!

I had a friend ask this past week about how long I will be serving. I will be serving for eighteen months because I will be extending my mission and receiving a second mission call after this transfer, but my current mission call is only for three months, just as a trial run to see if I am able to handle the stresses of mission life. I'm going to extend fifteen months after that, but right now the only release date I have in my future is six weeks from now. When I get the second call I'll let you know!

EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

We went to the mall for p-day which was actually kind of weird being a missionary in a mall haha.

Someone in our ward has a family home evening once a month for anybody who wants to come and Sister Sanerive and I led the discussion this month! We talked about how the gospel has changed our lives and how it can change the lives of others as we follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost. It was a really great night.

Operation Gratitude with the district was a party, and a chaotic party at that because many other people including other missionaries from the zone were there this week!

Last English class of the transfer.

Last district council of the transfer! It was honestly super sad; I love being in my district and the Granola zone. We work with a lot of great missionaries and I love them so much.

We had a mission-wide apartment deep clean where we decluttered the apartments, in which I inherited a sweater that previously belonged to Sister Fukunaga (Sister Sanerive's trainer) and we found an MRE and WE HAVE BEEN EATING IT SLOWLY BUT SURELY HAHAHA.

This week was my first transfer call, where at the end of the transfer the zone leaders tell us whether we stay or move for the next six weeks. I will be staying in the Reseda ward, and so will Sister Sanerive! We are excited to serve another six weeks in this area together. Sister Merkley will be staying in the Van Nuys ward, but sadly Sister Thawornniwat will be moving on to a different area. We are sad to see her go. The crazy thing is, though, that Sister Merkley's new companion, Sister Roberts, will not be coming for more or less a week. So until that happens, Sister Merkley will be in a trio with us, and we will be double covering the Reseda and Van Nuys areas! It's going to be an adventure for sure.

FRIENDS:

Sukki gave me a pen this week which was so sweet because she knows I love writing. We tried reading a little bit from the Book of Mormon this week and discussion a bit more of the Restoration.

Visited Steve and did some Book of Mormon reading.

We had met with a lot of other families in the ward this week, some just for lunch or dinner and even more for member trainings! These member trainings are really starting to take off, and now our bishop knows about them and he is all for it!

I'd like to share a verse of scripture that I found while reading the Book of Mormon this week, a simple call to action delivered by Nephi in 1 Nephi 7:12:

"Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do all things according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him? Wherefore, let us be faithful to him."

Let us be faithful to Him indeed! He is a God that never fails!

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day

Adventures in the CLAM: We Were All Homesick (April 1, 2019-April 7, 2019)

Hey everyone, be patient with my commentary because I am feeling truly emo about the CLAM today and missing everything about it, so I guess I have a lot to say.

In the week this blog post is about occurred the FIRST BIG CRISIS OF THE MISSION. Y'all are finally allowed to know the full story of what happened.

Missionaries live a lot crazier lives than a lot of people probably know, so sometimes wild and sketchy things happen to us. We don't typically write home about these things because if we don't get hurt then we don't want people to worry about us and be scared for us. (I promise you, no one is more protected than the Lord's missionaries.) The reason we had to stay at someone else's apartment for the weekend was because a man came to our apartment and wouldn't let us leave. He wanted someone to stay with him because there were some guys outside trying to kill him, and he said if there were people with him they wouldn't hurt us or him. We helped him call the police and it turned out he was just on drugs. But I mean, it was a wild adventure for sure!

That's the short version of the story. Maybe I'll tell the full version another time.

I also talk about my love for the Disney Princess franchise. For those of you that are new or that like rereading your favorite blog, if you need evidence of that, here it is.

I mention having photos in this week's email, but those will be posted to my personal Facebook page. Feel free to follow along, but I don't accept friend requests for people I don't know personally. You're all still blog family and I love and adore each and every one of you!

Upon reviewing this post it fills me with joy to see my testimony of the Book of Mormon. It truly is a book that's changed my life. I highly recommend it to everyone who is trying to come closer to God or live a better life. I can't really say enough about it, everything in the gospel of Jesus Christ is so good!

Edited some emojis and typos out of this letter to make my life easier as well as your reading, probably.

Also, did it hurt me to read about how my two-transfer mission showed me how hard it would be to leave the CLAM? Maybe. I was already so obsessed with those people and I was only a month in. Oh girl, the love is going to get so much deeper from here. Missions are simply the best.

Enjoy!

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Hello one and all!

LA LOVE:

When I got my mission call to the California Los Angeles Mission, my dear friend Sister Shandalene Fletcher of the Texas Dallas Mission said that she felt like California was the perfect fit for me because I am "all beautiful and tan". Haha well let me tell you that with being out in the SoCal sun all day on a bike, I am in fact getting VERY BEAUTIFUL AND TAN, like I'm impressed tbh.

So as you all know my favorite writer and musician of all time is Alan Menken. I miss him frequently. Well at the apartment we have question sessions while we're eating and we just get to know each other. Sister Thawornniwat once asked everyone's favorite Disney Princess. You guys also all know that I am a huge fan of the franchise so that was a fun one for me. Sister Thawornniwat loves Belle, Sister Sanerive loves Pocahontas, Sister Merkley loves Rapunzel, and I love Princess Jasmine. Well you can imagine my joy. When I realized ALL OF OUR FAVORITE PRINCESSES ARE ALAN MENKEN PRINCESSES. There really isn't much better than that.

I have some miscellaneous photos from the transfer! Enjoy these shots from my first English class (which is right by the temple), apartment comp study at the park, all of us wearing pants (we planned it so like it was actually a big deal HAHA) at Operation Gratitude, lunch with the STLs and Sister Latouche after Trinity's baptism, and exchanges with Sister Rydalch!

EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

On p-day we went to the Japanese Gardens with the other sisters from the apartment as well as Sister Roth, Sister Rydalch, and Sister Latouche! And had a tiny birthday party for Sister Roth which was super fun! Photos attached of that.

Operation Gratitude with the district is always a party.

I finished the Book of Mormon for the third time! During this read I gained a much better understanding of the story of the sacred record, and as I marked the places where He was mentioned, I learned more than ever how the Book of Mormon truly is another testament of Jesus Christ.

It was my first zone conference! We learned so much and I'm definitely a better missionary for it. I also finally got to meet Elder Durham! As requested by both my fans and his, a photo of that is attached.

I hit my one month mark! It has been a long month but also (and mostly) incredibly short. Honestly being a two-transfer missionary has put the whole of my mission into a really cool perspective. I am nearly halfway done with my mission already and time has flown by. I have no time to waste! It also makes me realize how hard it will be to leave the CLAM. For two-transfer missionaries, as I understand it, we spend each transfer in a different area with a different companion. So when I think about leaving my companion, my apartment, my district, my zone, and my STLs so soon, I am so sad! It's definitely not going to be easy but I'm glad for the time I've had with everyone and for the time I have left in the CLAM.

We had an awesome district council about receiving revelation from the Holy Spirit, something we can all do if we live worthily and seek after it.

So we ended up having to stay at the STLs' apartment for two days this week. Sister Sanerive and I stayed with them while Sister Thawornniwat and Sister Merkley stayed with some other sisters in the STLs' zone. We literally missed the so much! We feel incomplete when we aren't with our other companionship. We met up with them at general conference (MORE ON THAT IN A BIT!!!) and we both couldn't get over how much we missed each other after being separated for like ten or so hours HAHA. We also all missed being at our apartment so much, we all kept talking about how homesick we were for the apartment HAHAHA. We are now back at our apartment which we are all so happy for. Attached are photos of that adventure, including Jamba Juice before we got to the STL apartment, Sister Thawornniwat walking down the stairs and feeling like a princess, and Sister Sanerive asking me to turn around and take a photo of her too haha!

General conference this weekend was the best! I loved all the counsel about being exact in our actions, exercising faith, and about the pure love of God and Jesus Christ. If you were watching, tell me your favorite part! If you weren't, it's not too late to check it out at churchofjesuschrist.org.

FRIENDS:

This week I am overjoyed to tell you all that we started sharing the message of the Roestoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ with Sukki. I know this is a message that can bless her life and everyone's.

We had a great time reading the Book of Mormon with Steve. We read from Alma 37:36-37 and 3 Nephi 13:25-30, about how God will take care of us if we look to Him in all things and do what's right.

I invite you all to read those verses and ponder on that as well. God loves YOU!

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day

Adventures in the CLAM: First Baptism! (March 25, 2019-March 31, 2019)

Sorry for the late night posting, everyone. I think I finally understand how it feels to be a college student. I am drowning in reading. I am exhausted. But I am coming through for the post. Some edits made for typos' sake, but that would be all. Thanks for coming, I love you!

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Hello one and all!

LA LOVE:

Sister Thawornniwat couldn't believe it when I first said this because to her LA is so dry, but CALIFORNIA IS SO HUMID. NOTHING EVER DRIES. I WASH MY MAKEUP BRUSHES AND CAN BARELY USE THEM THE NEXT DAY YIKES. Problems that come with being from Vegas.

I want you all to know a favorite quotes list IS being made for the CLAM and will be posted in about seventeen months! We have some gems so far!

Also, I know you have all been anxiously waiting on photos. I will have some for you next week. I apologize for the wait.

I've nicknamed Sister Thawornniwat Zeke from High School Musical because she is literally obsessed with baking. She's constantly wanting to make cookies and loves presenting them to us. She once started cheering and jumping for joy because there was yeast in the freezer. She's obsessed with food in general. Whenever someone brings us treats she gets so excited and whenever anyone in the apartment is thinking about eating more food she will say (even if she's in another room) "Yes!!! Do it!!! Eat more!!!" ONe time I was pointing out the resemblance between her and Zeke by saying "she bakes, she loves to bake" and she responded with "Yes I do!!!" We love our apartment mom.

EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

P-day was spent cleaning in preparation for my first apartment inspection. Sister Sanerive really wanted to get a celestial apartment (a perfect score) WHICH WE DID.

District service at Operation Gratitude. I love our district. We live to roast each other and it's the best.

Sister Rydalch came to the Reseda rea with us to do a small twelve-hour exchange with both me and Sister Sanerive and it was so awesome to have her with us for the day!

We helped Sister Wall in the Chatsworth ward clean her house so that was awesome.

We had a great district council about introducing ourselves as misisonaries and using the Book of Mormon in our teaching, which was especially awesome because Sister Sanerive and I got to practice the skills we learned right after when a person we met started asking us about our religion!

TRINITY'S BAPTISM!!! More on that in a bit.

FRIENDS:

We stopped by and got to visit with the H. family (I'm not to give out full names) and we got to talk for awhile with the wife/mother of the family Carolyn, a member of our ward. It was awesome getting to meet her and her family.

We had an awesome experience with Sukki this week. We finally got to read some of the Book of Mormon with her! I think she really enjoyed the messages in the verses.

The Northridge YSA elders joined us for a lesson with Jose. Elder Cameron and Elder Kao are the sweetest missionaries you will ever meet! It was awesome getting to work with them as we read the Book of Mormon with Jose. He has some awesome missionaries teaching him now and I know he will have a great time in the Northridge YSA ward.

We had an awesome member training with Sister Fornelli! She is a strong woman of faith and we love her willingness to help us with everything and with sharing the gospel. (I also got to talk to her about her daughter's theatre program!!! They are doing Sister Act this year and Little Shop of Horrors next year! TWO ALAN MENKENS IN A ROW. I got a little too excited tbh.)

An awesome dinner and member training with the R. family! We met with Rosa and her three kids, Jacquie, Anthony, and Christian. (Another theatre side note, Anthony is in his school play too so we spent a ton of time talking about theatre too and wow I didn't realize how much I miss it until I got to talk about theatre the whole day.) They are a powerful family. They bore testimony to us about the power of sharing the gospel through love and being an example.

Trinity had one more review-type lesson with us this week and then her baptism was on Saturday! The Spirit of God was definitely present as she made her first covenants with Heavenly Father. The next day at church she received the gift of the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. We are so happy for her.

We got to visit Leilani, Efren, and Sebastian and deliver some gifts to them! Efren told us he read about God in the Book of Mormon that week. Awesome!

We met a new friend, Lanee! She was referred to us by the sisters from the Hawaii visitor center and she is the best! WE gave her a Book of Mormon and got to talk with her a little bit about it and our religion. She is so sweet and so excited to learn!

This week something very special is coming up. We have general conference, an awesome opportunity twice a year to hear the words of God's representatives on the earth! I am so excited to hear the messages we will receive this week. In preparation for general conference, I want to invite you all to read a previous general conference talk by Tad R. Callister, "God's Compelling Witness: The Book of Mormon". It's about, to me, how Joseph Smith, the first prophet of this new and last dispensation, was just an ordinary man, but it was the power of God that made him a prophet and allowed him to translate the Book of Mormon. Joseph Smith nor any other prophet would ever say it was their own knowledge or talent that allowed them to preach as they did/do. It is all a sacred power and calling from Heavenly Father.

With that said, I would also like to make a statement regarding President Russell M. Nelson, our current prophet. Since President Nelson was called to be the prophet just over a year ago, many changes have been made in Church policy that are beautiful and exciting. Many people refer to them as "President Nelson's changes". President Nelson is an absolutely wonderful man, and a very well-educated man at that. However, I testify to you all that they are in fact no President Nelson's changes. No mere mortal man could come up with anything that effective and powerful. They are God's changes, and President Nelson, as God's prophet upon the earth today, delivers them to us for Heavenly Father. I love and sustain President Nelson. I know he was perfectly called to be the one to deliver these changes and words to us and has the energy, personality, and experience Heavenly Father wanted his words to be delivered with. When President Nelson speaks as a prophet, he speaks on behalf of God. These changes were not his own idea, they were revealed to him from Heavenly Father and given to us at the time we were ready for them. And they are beautiful.

I know that God has not abandoned us and truly provides living prophets. He also provided the Book of Mormon, containing the fulness of the gospel of Jesus Christ. It was translated by the first living prophet of the last dispensation, Joseph Smith. If the Book of Mormon is true, then the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It is all or nothing.

President Ezra Taft Benson, another prophet of God, said, "...All objections, whether they be on abortion, plural marriage, seventh-day worship, etc., basically hinge on whether Joseph Smith and his successors were and are prophets of God receiving divine revelation....

"...The only problem the objector has to resolve for himself is whether the Book of Mormon is true. For if the Book of Mormon is true, then Jesus is the Christ, Joseph Smith was his prophet, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true, and it is being led today by a prophet receiving revelation."

We should keep that in mind this weekend as we hear the messages of God. Preach My Gospel says on page 115, "For example, sincere people might object to what you have taught about the Word of Wisdom. Help them see that their real question is whether Joseph Smith was speaking as God's prophet when this commandment was renewed in this dispensation." If Joseph Smith had just been a man saying not to use tobacco and other substances, that would have been different. But he was actually a prophet of God telling us Heavenly Father's will. That's why it matters. And we can know he was a prophet by reading the Book of Mormon and praying to know of its truth.

Similarly, if the prophets and apostles of today say things that confuse or trouble us, the real question is whether or not these people are speaking as representatives receiving revelation from our Father in Heaven. If they are not representatives of God, then what they say doesn't matter. But I testify to you that they are. They speak for Heavenly Father and deliver His will to us. Because that is true, which we can know by praying about and acting on their words, then what they say matters and we must follow what they say.

Jesus is the Christ, God sends us living prophets today, and that is all true because the Book of Mormon is true. You can all come to know this by following the promise in Moroni 10:3-5:

"Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things."

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day

Adventures in the CLAM: SALT (March 18, 2019-March 24, 2019)

Hello one and all:

LA LOVE:

So every night we text "home" to our zone when we are in our apartment and the reason for that is the district leaders (who most people text home to) text the zone leaders once everyone in the district is home. Then the zone leaders text the assistants to the president once everyone in the zone is home. And they message President Haynie that the mission is home, and once the whole mission is home, President Haynie goes to sleep! He says he has the biggest  mission in the world (for real, like 200 missionaries) in the second biggest city in the United States; he needs to make sure all his missionaries are home and safe before he can go to sleep!

Last week in our interviews with President Haynie he told us that it's pretty rare that two brand-new missionaries are living together, so he said we should try doing companion study as an apartment! We can't always do that because of our busy schedules but we try to and it's a great time!

EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

Last p-day we (the apartment) went to Burbank with another companionship and had lunch and went shopping with them. Also had ice cream at the church so that was a party.

New missionary orientation was awesome this week! We had a few trainings and y favorite was about training ward members on how to better share the gospel. More on that in a bit.

There was a day where we were out trying to visit someone and we could tell it would rain SOON so we had to hurry home. Well it rained a little bit and it was awesome. Then it started really raining. Then it stated POURING. Then it started HAILING and we were not even close to home! Sister Sanerive had never seen hail before so she thought it was snow! So just to set the scene imagine me biking down a crazy busy street, hands freezing cold gripping my bike, arms turning red from being pelted with tiny pieces of ice falling from the sky, barely able to see from all the rain in my eyes, dress LITERALLY DRENCHED trying to get home as quickly and safely as possible hahaha! Tbh it was a super fun adventure.

This week was supposed to be exchanges (Sister training leaders each come stay with one of us and spend a day with us). We got the call for exchanges and found out I WOULD BE STAYING IN RESEDA and Sister Sanerive would be going to the STL area. I WOULD BE LEADING THE AREA. Hahaha tbh I was so excited! So Sister Roth came that night and was my companion for the night. Well exchanges pretty much just ended up being a sleepover because Sister Rydalch, Sister Latouche, and Sister Sanerive in the STL area ended up at the emergency room all night. (No worries, everyone is okay.) So they had to rest like all day and we were up for a lot of the night with them too, so exchanges will be reschedules hahaha.

I learned a lot at ENGLISH CLASS this week because I am a total geek.
District counsel was great! I gave my first training of the mission on the power of prayer! Everyone was so nice, they were like "...that was a lot of knowledge" and Elder Evans said "now I know why I felt like Sister Day needed to give that training." I have the best district ever.

So there was a bit of a debate in the apartment this week.... The other sisters really wanted to make cookies. But we had no salt. WE FOUND OUT THAT SISTER THAWORNNIWAT IS EXTREMELY PASSIONATE ABOUT SALT. Sister Merkley wanted to see what would happen if we made cookies without it. She felt VERY STRONGLY that we did not need it but Sister Thawornniwat was not having it. Long story short we now have salt and a LOT of cookies.

We had a zone service at Operation Gratitude building teddy bears! All the sisters decided to twin and wear pants together so we were super cute.

FRIENDS:

Sukki is doing pretty well. She gave me a sardi so that's super nice. She said the last time we came "you are my children I have to feed you", she is so sweet! Trinity had two lessons this week and her baptismal interview! She spent a lot of time preparing for that and did great! It's go time!

We met with a new family in our area, Leilani, Efren, and Sebastian. We talked about the Bible, Book of Mormon, and Jesus Christ with them.

We read the Book of Mormon with Jose this week and he came to church yesterday and had a good time! He will be going to the YSA ward from now on but we will meet with him one more time to introduce him to the missionaries serving in that ward.

I met Patricia, she is in a family we visit and got to talk to her for a bit.

We met with the McCaleb family, a family in our ward and taught them how to share the gospel with their friends like we learned about at new missionary orientation! We will be meeting with them again later this week.

We got to visit with Steve and talk with him for a bit. Our week doesn't feel complete if we don't go visit Steve.

We had dinner with the Bambo family, another family in our ward, and got to talk with them some more about sharing the gospel with our friends too!

I love being a missionary. I get to help people learn about Jesus Christ all day. I get to help people realize He is the one source of lasting peace in life. Through Him, we can get through anything and become the person we want to be.

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day

Adventures in the CLAM: A Full Week (March 11, 2019-March 17, 2019)

Hey everyone! Just as a short introduction to today's post, I think I may use a little terminology that is just used among missionaries in this post. Please let me know if I need to make any clarifications and I will post them in the comments.

(Also edited this one for emojis hahaha.)

I also just wanted to say that upon reflecting on these old letters it's been very nice to look back because I am really seeing how much I grew over the course of my mission. It is so interesting to see a young missionary's perspective as compared to mine now. I am loving this series and I hope you are too.

Thanks, I love you!

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Hi one and all!

LA LOVE:

Sometimes I'm still in slight denial that I am on a mission because it just feels way more like normal life than I thought it would.

In the Los Angeles area there are just a ton of movie billboards everywhere! I love it so much! They're at almost every bus stop and on a few large billboards as well. The ads for Us are soo awesome and spooky hahaha.

The California Los Angeles Mission has a lot of history behind it; for example we were the first mission to use the black name tags that are now standard for all missionaries!

EVENTS OF THE WEEK:

District p-day (preparation day). We went to the institute and played games with the elders in our district. I learned how to play pool and spike ball, kind of... as much as I ever learn how to play any game hahaha. I'm not very good at either HAHAHA

Interviews with President Haynie and Sister Haynie! We have interviews with them once a transfer and I loved getting to talk with them! We also had a training on testifying of the Book of Mormon.... More on that in a bit.

District counsel was awesome this week.

We had a ward activity that was a spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the Young Women! It was so sweet because we were told so many ward members volunteered to buy our tickets so we could come, but we got in for free! But it was so nice of so  many ward members to volunteer to help; we have the best ward.

We got to teach the youth (Beehives/Deacons) Sunday School class so that was the best! I love working with children!!!

FRIENDS:

Trinity, she is well on her way to baptism and when we were teaching her she was practically teaching the lesson for us! She is doing great. AH WE LOVE HER

Sukki, she gives us sooo much! She gives us food every time we come because she says we serve God all day the least they can do is feed us. She had me put coconut oil in my hair and had Sister Sanerive braid it and she said "you can write to your parents and tell them a crazy Indian woman made you put coconut oil in your hair" hahaha! We talk about the Bible with her and read it with her and pray with her and I love it soo much, and she does too. We love Sukki!!

Jose, we got to teach him a few lesson and even went to the visitor center with him! (Which means I got to be in the city and y'all know how I feel about that) He lovvved the visitor center and it really helped him understand more about the gospel.

We had lunch with the Wood family! They were sooo nice and they are very musical so they played some music for us! And they even had me sing for them so that was really awesome

My scripture for the week is another one of my favorites that kept coming up this week, Alma 37:6:

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small nad simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise."

Even though we are mere mortals that cannot do a lot, through God our small things can be GREAT things!

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day

Back in Cedar City

Hello family, friends, followers, fans, and fandomeers!

Today was my first day of school in Cedar City. As I said earlier, I have been living here for a few days. I moved here shortly after arriving home in Las Vegas from my year-and-a-half-long mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Let me tell you something about return missionaries. Our first few days/weeks out of the mission, we don't want to be anywhere other than where we served our mission (for me that was Los Angeles, California). Our missions are really sacred and happy experiences for us. We miss our friends and our new home. We miss getting to teach people about Jesus Christ all day and getting to live away from the evil and chaos of the world. If you all know me, you know I love my hometown. So after living in Henderson for three days, I was starting to get okay with the idea of living in Vegas. (Because the first few days I wasn't sure. I really wanted to be in LA.) Right at that time, I had to move to Cedar City.

I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself. When I was seventeen, I started applying for colleges. I was really looking into Utah Valley University for awhile, but it got to the point where nothing was seeming to work out in my favor for that school. I stopped desiring to study there. It was very apparent that that wasn't where I was supposed to be.

Then Southern Utah University came into my path. This is the university that my sister attended, so I had visited it before. The first time I visited campus I knew that it was a university I definitely didn't want to go to. (God works in mysterious ways and His plan is always better than ours, I'll leave it at that.) But when I got to the point in my life where I needed to choose for myself what post-secondary school to attend, strangely enough SUU seemed to have all the right things. Upon searching for colleges, I realized that most universities don't have a creative writing program, and those that do typically have a poor one. SUU was one of three or four colleges I found that had a suitable program. It's also the Shakespeare capital of the world (or at least the United States), and of course you know I love that. I also around this time decided to minor in theatre and film. SUU has great programs for both of those disciplines, so I would be getting an unbelievably sound education in all of those areas. I was so excited! What really sold it is the Jumpstart program. Many places have programs to help students advance quickly through their post-secondary education, but Jumpstart is entirely unique to SUU. Other universities have looked into it to potentially adopt the program but have backed out because of how difficult it is. In this program, we are in one class of about fifty students for one year. We do all of our general education classes (except for math since the requirements by major vary so much for that class) in this one class, taught by many professors. Any professor can chime in at any point of another professor's lecture to make it more of an integrated learning experience and show how all of the different subjects of the world connect. Along with that, we study all of these things with a certain emphasis. My emphasis was in theatre and film. (I write a little bit more about it in a blog post from that time.) It's an incredible program, and it meant for me that I would have all of my general education done in one year, so after I served my mission, I would be entirely prepared to just get started on my major. It all seemed so divine, and I want to note that I knew that at the time. SUU was a gift from God to me. I was super excited about it.

So what happened that made me less than eager to go back this semester? Well, a lot. I moved out of my parents' house two months before my eighteenth birthday, and I did not take it well. I had the most charmed life at age seventeen. I had gained a new understanding of where I wanted to go in life, I lived in a city that I adored (I am a huge city girl, so anything smaller than Vegas is a no for me), I was doing stellar work in all of my performances and had finally reached a really good achievement level, started feeling comfortable in my own skin, and had amazing friends. I had it made, essentially. Which, from God's standpoint, is of course the best time to shake things up so more growth can happen. I was going through the crisis of growing up. That in itself is very difficult, especially for someone who was as emotionally out of control as I was.

When you take that into account, I had a very difficult time making friends. I am a pretty naturally closed-off person, so it wasn't hard for me to just close myself off from the world, resent everyone around me, and pretty much be bitter all the time. I didn't have the best living situation that year, so that definitely didn't help either.

If all that wasn't enough, I had just recently started to overcome a health crisis and was doing good, but when you take the above into account, my health declined very quickly. I sometimes forget just how bad my anxiety and depression were at the time, but they were very, very bad. My eating disorder behaviors that I had tried learning how to improve shortly before I moved away came back so much worse. Very few people know just to what extent my health dropped, but it was genuinely terrible. I have traumatizing memories from that period of time that I had shut out for about a year until they randomly came back to me on my mission. I do not have healthy memories of this place.

I was just very bitter at Cedar City as a whole. It was always dreadfully cold, it was a tiny town in my city girl eyes, and Utah has never been one of my favorite places; the culture there is very different from my adored hometown.

So, long story short, I was not in a good place and thus it was not a good place for me. But it wasn't anything in particular wrong with the university. I remember at the end of the school year at our Jumpstart party and looking around at everyone. They were all so close to each other. I loved all of them and they were great friends of mine. But I knew I hadn't developed even close to the relationships that they had developed with each other. I felt terrible. That feeling soon turned into a lot of regret.

And even a lot of guilt. I told people on my mission about it because it troubled me that much. SUU was God-given. I knew that. And my circumstances and state of mind didn't change that fact. Instead, I felt like I had abused the gift God had given me. I let resentment fill my heart towards the gate to my future that was gifted me. It was the most terrible feeling.

After that, I was determined, without a doubt, to never make that mistake again.

So yeah. Was pulling up to Cedar City, right after returning to Las Vegas from Los Angeles, in particular exciting? Was I happy to be around that culture again? No. I remember pulling into Utah a few days ago, looking around, and thinking to myself, "I have absolutely no desire to be here." I still have a hard time talking to people. I still prefer life without snow. All of those things have remained true.
But I also recognize that I am a stronger person than I was three years ago. I recognize that I learned how to overcome a lot of challenges during my time away from Cedar City. I have come more into who I am. I have learned to let myself enjoy people's company if I want to. And it hasn't been easy, especially since I'm making such a big transition right now. But like I said, today was my first day of school. My classes at the school are French, educational psychology, methods of teaching grammar, acting, and tap. All of my professors are so awesome and I am so happy. I can tell I am really where I am supposed to be. I haven't said goodbye to friends from Las Vegas or friends from Los Angeles--I still talk to all of them. But I am also okay with being myself here. It's not the town I ever picture myself living in, but it's everything I need right now. And life is never not going to be hard, but that doesn't mean it can't be happy. I am happy.

One more thing before I head out that has really helped me navigate this experience. Because trust me, it has been really hard at times. My mission therapist told me that I have a backburner confidence, so it's just time to bring it forward. It doesn't matter how inadequate we feel, how much we feel we don't fit in, how incapable we seem to be, or whatever else we don't seem to measure up on. Confidence comes from realizing that we all have the potential to be astounding. No human was born naturally worse or better than another. We all have the potential to be something great. It's okay if we're not perfect or even if we're anywhere close. As long as we are progressing and trying to do our best every day, good things will happen.

Whatever you're going through, you can do this. We got this!

Thanks and much love!

Adventures in the CLAM: BIKES?! (March 3, 2019-March 10, 2019)

 Hey, before we get right into it, for those of you that didn’t see yesterday’s post, I am going to be posting (every day) letters from my mission, telling about the adventures I had there! I’m super excited to share this with all of you. If you have any questions, please drop a comment! I’d be happy to explain things further. Enjoy family, friends, followers, fans, and fandomeers!

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Hello one and all!

The CLAM is amazing! I love it here! A little bit about the mission before I get into my area and the details of the week:

Sister Haynie (mission president's wife, she is the best and I love her) told us before we got here and said the mission was very international, which I figured just meant that it was Los Angeles so a lot of people are from a lot of different places, but no, all the missionaries are from all over the world too! Just in our apartment we have four sisters from three different countries!

In our mission we aren't allowed to eat dinner with ward members except for on weekends because during the evening is the best time to proselyte and visit people so if anyone wants to send me easy recipes missionaries could easily make that would be awesome!

Whenever we are asked to pray at a meeting we are supposed to pray in our assigned mission language, so so far I have witnessed prayers in Spanish, English, and American Sign Language.

Okay so let me just say as a missionary THE FIRST DAY TRULY IS THE WORST DAY. Once you get into the actual mission part the mission is sooo good.

In our interview on my first night in the mission Sister Haynie said that some companions you get along with no problem and you just click with, others you have to work a little hard to get along with, but she hoped my trainer was the first kind of companion. Well she IS!!! My trainer is Sister Sanerive. She has been on her mission for three months, which means she just finished her training and is now training me! She sings all the time and she seriously is such a Christlike example to me in how she serves me and everyone around me, you couldn't believe how kind and giving she is. Also she tells pretty much everyone "she didn't go to MTC!" because she was so shocked by that haha!

We live with one other companionship, Sister Thawornniwat whose release date is the same as mine (May 29), and Sister Merkley who just came from the Provo MTC!

I am serving in the Reseda area in Reseda, California! I got to meet some ward members this week and they are all super nice!

Well guess what Sister Sanerive told me when we got assigned. We are riding BIKES. Needless to say it was rough going at first but now I'm doing pretty good and I actually really love the bike!!! 😍

So some things we did this week is service at Operation Gratitude. We stuff teddy bears for children who have parents serving in the military every week so that's pretty awesome.

Sister Sanerive and Sister Thaworniwatt have an English class every week and let me just say I LOVED ENGLISH CLASS. To the shock of no one but dang I love studying the English language.

We also had a sisters conference with a special guest, Sister Eubank from the Relief Society general presidency! It was great getting to meet her and hear her speak about how we are the "first responders" of the people we are teaching, how we are the people that show them the peace and safety of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I got to share with everyone at that meeting why I love Isaiah 41:10, how it helped me get through my mission preparation to know God was always with me making me strong and how that is why it is the scripture on my mission plaque. To make it even better it was on International Women's Day! 😍

Some friends I got to meet this week were:

Trinity, she will be getting baptized in about a month and we got to teach her the Plan of Salvation this week.

Steve, he was baptized in September so we read some Book of Mormon with him and spent some time with him.

Sukki, who LOVES Sister Sanerive so much haha!!! She just loves us and always gives us food and is so sweet to us. Yesterday we had a really good talk with her about Jesus Christ, the first time she had really talked about that with us so that was amazing.

I got to meet the Hernandez family for a bit but we don't have an appointment with them until this week.

Also don't worry because we are well taken care of! Our ward mission leader Brother Hart is so helpful and kind and he even buys some of our groceries for us because he says he hoped the ward members were taking care of his sons when they served missions, so he figured our parents are hoping they are taking care of us! He is seriously the best.

To close I'd just like to share the scripture we discussed with Sister Eubank this week, Isaiah 41:10:

"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee: yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold the with the right hand of my righteousness."

Remember that this week. God, our all-powerful Father, is with YOU.

Thanks and much love!

--Sister Day